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Someone who updates their facebook status at every opportunity. Continuously informing us of their every movement, mood change and achievement... A true Status Wanker believes that people are actually interested in their status updates.
16:00 Sami is having a bad day at the office.
17:02 Sami is glad to be home after a tough day at the office and can't wait to get a bath and settle down in front of the TV with a glass of wine and her superstar of a boyfriend
18:04 Sami is watching a brill film
"god how much of a status wanker is Sami updating her status every hour"
34👍 5👎
Any one of the million or so neat neck-tie New York or London or San Fran bankers, traders, and/or financial types who troll otherwise hipster, posh bars or clubs claiming to actually be interested in art, culture, and the human condition when hitting on women otherwise way out of their league but for their singular monetary standing.
Usually spawned from ivy league Universities.
Attractive Girl #1: I love that film, can't believe it's been so long since I've seen it.
Attractive Girl #2: It was on IFC last night, I didn't even know I got the channel.
Wanker Banker: As much as I agree, I still think the book was better.
Attractive Girl #2: It's a documentary, ass.
(Wanker Banker shrugs, pretends to see some friends, angles towards the bar)
Attractive Girl #1: Fucking wank-bank.
or
Simone: What're they gonna do?
Marlene: I dunno, go back to her place.
Wanker-banker: My flat's not far from here, has a terrace with a view of the city.
Simon: Good for you.
Wanker Banker: I'm just sayin'-
Marlene: Dear gawd, this is the worst night of my life. We officially look like coke whores. Why else would a wanker banker assume he and his cheese dick button down could summon us to his apartment via cuff links and slacks ?
Simone: What a fucktard.
60👍 11👎
Becoming dangerously drunk/drugged beyond all recognition. Usually a 24 hour + sesh that has resulted in general loss of the ability do do anything other than smoke or drink, extremely diminished intelligence and zero concept of time it's self.
Girl: Yo, where were you all week? I've been trying to get hold of you since Monday!
Boy: Woah, if only I could remember! We had one serious sesh at Danny's where I'm pretty sure I lost my mind as well as my eyebrows. I'm never drinking again. Majorly danger wankered.
24👍 3👎
The supreme leader of a group of wankers.
Usually used to refer to a useless politician.
"I hereby declare you, Wanker-in-chief"
A young wanna be hipster who always goes to the Costa Coffee machines at petrol stations.
' Look at that Costa Wanker waiting for his shit latte'
Or
'I can't get a coffee because the que is full of Costa wankers'
When a bloke is more obsessed with his beard than fucking everything
I love playing with my beard it proper turns me on. I think I'm a bearded wanker
Travel Wanker (Noun): One who travels in Asia or South America in hopes of "finding themselves". Wears genie pants, neglects basic hygiene, doesn't wear shoes and constantly tells you about how relinquishing their material possessions pushed them to a higher spiritual plain.
"Look at the top-knot on that travel wanker."
"What was the hostel like? Couldn't handle it, full of travel wankers."