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chess is food and you CAN have sex with it
i want to f*ck her like my chess
One of the world's oldest games, chess is classified as a board game, but is more like a mental sport, and is actually a massive example of the Dunning-Kruger effect. No matter how good you are at the game, you still suck, even the greatest players know they suck, and if you think you are good, you most DEFINITELY suck. All chess tournaments are competitions of who sucks least, everybody sucks to some degree, unless your name is Magnus Carlsen, and even he sucks next to a computer. It is believed (though not proven) that a perfectly-played game of chess will always end in a draw, and when someone wins, it is always because the other person fucked up.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
I play chess because I hate myself.
the greatest game of all time.
yo Eziekiel lets play chess
yes Dominique
ok so move there..
YOU MOVE WHITe bishop
yes.
ok i move da black pawn there
checkmate...
*3 hours later..*
i won
nah domo i lost
a game in which anal beads are actively present and involved.
GUY 1: "Hey bro, you wanna play chess"
GUY 2: " Yeah... let me grab my beads"...
A game that only gay people play. (Why are you making moves on another man)
Rick: Hey John, do you wanna play chess?
John: No, chess is gay, like why are you making moves on another man?
Rick: Good point.
Jizzing inside of a boxing glove so that when someone puts their hand in it they have a handful of cum on their hands
Muhammad Ali retired after someone pulled a dirty chess on him.
When you stay up during the witching hours playing chess by yourself because everyone is sleeping or far away from the scope of control.
Person 1: "sorry man i cant stay up any longer, i'm too tired."
Person 2: It's ok, i'll be staying up Playing chess with the poltergeist That'll keep me busy."