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She looks like mattress food, I’ve got to feed her to my mattress.
that large wide thick juicy dense baguette thats been sitting out all day and might be a little hard to cut
You're as thick as a mattress baguette.
When you live above the 40th parallel and you don't have a garage to keep your car in during the winter, you may find yourself driving around with an 8 inch thick slab of snow on the hood of your vehicle.
I thought that it was starting to snow while driving down the highway, but it was only coming from the giant snow mattress on top of the car in front of me.
A discord mattress is when a female of a discord server engages in sexual intercourse with more than one member of the discord in real life.
Ashley had sex with 4 guys from our discord server, Total discord mattress.
The bed you lay in instead of going to the gym.
I'm supposed to get a work-out in, but I'm lounging in club mattress instead.
Someone that spends more time masturbating than having a life.
"im not talking to some fucking mattress humper"
The act of receiving a less than stellar blowjob from some rando life coach behind a dumpster on top of a mattress after bar close.
Life Coach: Hi dude I never met before 10 minutes ago! Want to cuddle on this perfectly good mattress that was thrown away?
Dude: Ummm, ok.
(Both lie down together)
Life Coach: Want to make out?
Dude: Sure why not?
(Proceed to make out)
Dude: Hey you're not bad with your tongue.
Life Coach: You have no idea! Would you like a dumpster mattress blowjob!?
Dude: Yolo