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A Newton

An Asexual and/or aromantic person. It’s referenced by the fact that Sir Isaac Newton never had a wife, kids, and even a romantic partner.

Has no correlation with the unit of force, Newtons.

Bob: How come Eric never had a girlfriend before? He’s 27 years old!

Samuel: Oh, he’s a Newton, he told me. Basically means he’s asexual.

by Thatboinona December 29, 2023


Newton’s 4th Law

One of Newtons laws stating it’s impossible to eva see two pretty best friends, it is always one one of em gotta b ugly

@ Jayrscotty: I ain’t neva see two pretty best friends. 1 always gotta be ugly🥘👄🥘.

Person B: obviously that’s Newton’s 4th Law of course

by A dictionary October 31, 2020


Newton’s 4th law

Newton’s 4th law states that there can never be two pretty best friends, and it’s always one of them gotta be ugly.

Friend 1: Hey did you see Bokuto and Akaashi? They’re really pretty best friends

Friend 2: They can’t be best friends that’s impossible, remember Newton’s 4th law.

Friend 1: oh so they order desert?

Friend 2: Yes

by halfgay November 1, 2020


Newton's 5th Law

Newton's 5th Law states that Benjamin Hamel is always right. He has never and will never be incorrect on any matter.

"That's Newton's 5th Law: Ben is always right."

by Sin&Win March 21, 2022


Newton sex

When you are about to have sex with a gut but the situation becomes really awkward because they have an incredibly small and disgusting penis, so you tell them you need to go revise Newtons third law as an excuse to get the fuck away

Person 1: Hey how was your sex last night!!!
Person 2: I didn't do it he had a serious case of Newton sex.

by Skeleton365 October 18, 2019


Vertical Newton

The vertical newton is an exciting, arousing, fast-paced newfangled form of foreplay that involves multiple senses by inserting the penile organ into the partner's ear. Due to the blood pressure and sensitivity to temperature of the ear, the intensity of the foreplay is heightened. Warning: not for beginners. If you are not in tune with your partner, it is very easy to damage their eardrum permanently.

"dang that girl knew just how to get me! She BEGGED for the vertical newton."

by Austin Hunkoolovin August 15, 2009


Newtons Apple

A person takes a shit into another persons gaping asshole. Poop displays gravity principles as it falls.

A: so how wild was the sex?
B: you have no idea, he let me give him a Newtons Apple!
A:*mind blown*

by Sanchopanzatranza December 30, 2025