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monkey closet

don’t open my monkey closet i said to the guy he did and he got eaten to death and died and there was blood

person 1: β€œdont open my monkey closet”
person 2: *does*
there is blood

by aceofspad3s December 31, 2022

8πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


closet sociopath

Someone who seems really chill and relaxed but periodically suggests something very dark or unnerving.

"Jill seems like a real closet sociopath. Every time we play D&D she suggests torture."

by GlueBank February 28, 2017

11πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


closet straight

A male who acts and talk as if they are flamboyantly gay but, not.

Hey bro, I don't go down like that. I go down like this. Come on man, don't you have a wife and kids? Yes, it's not like I'm gay, I'm just closet straight.

by Chef boy ar Gee December 31, 2015

9πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Closet Overachiever

A co-worker that lures you in to thinking that mediocrity is commonplace at the office. Just when you think you are both on the same page he or she will make look bad by putting together elite spreadsheets, cutting edge PowerPoints, and insightful talking points at meetings.

John: Where is Lindsay? She normally takes a 2 hour lunch with us?

Jim: Oh you didn't know? Turns out she is a closet overachiever.

by TR DUDE November 21, 2013

8πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Closet dick

A male who appears to be friendly but turns out to be a massive asshole when you really get to know him

I thought he was a really nice guy, but he's secretly a massive closet dick.

by fooddetector December 14, 2014

8πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


closet librarian

one who displays librarian-like tendencies despite their best efforts to hide them; in fact they usually make no efforts to hide them whatsoever.

Niles Crane (from Frasier) is a closet librarian. There are many others who have not yet come out.

by NOTMYNECK August 11, 2007

8πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


closet pirate

a bro who plays your video games, eats your leftovers and lives in your coat closet under the stairs... for FREE!

yo...eat the rest of that pasta before the Closet Pirate wakes up.

by skyskier December 13, 2008

8πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž