jesus saves, but satan rocks

the essence of goodness is obedience, moral rectitude, moderation, whereas the essence of "evil" is rebellion, and thus "fun," or "coolness."

dude, i know that jesus saves, but satan rocks!

5👍 9👎

Jesus gay his dad

Worse than ur mom gay , ur dad lesbian and ur granny tranny

Carl-“Ur mom gay”
Carlos-“Ur dad lesbian”
Carl-“Ur granny tranny”
Carlos-“Jesus gay his dad”
Carl-*explodes, goes to hell, his whole generation dies, suck dicks in hell and he has to clean up shreka butthole for the next 70years”

3👍 6👎

Poor Man's Jesus Phone

the coolest way to say "ipod touch"

-DUDE! You got a Jesus Phone?
-Nah, I got the Poor Man's Jesus Phone

6👍 15👎

make baby jesus cry

To engage in a spot of bashing the bishop, wanking, onanism, tossing off. Masturbation.

When I touch myself where it feels funny, it makes baby Jesus cry...

19👍 68👎

Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ

Can be used as a expression of surprise/dismay/happiness/anger. John Belushi says this in the film "The Blues Brothers" when John Belushi realizes he needs to get his band back together.

John Belushi (as "Joliet" Jake Blues): "The band...the band!"

James Brown (as the church pastor): "Do you see the light?"

John Belushi: "THE BAND!"

James Brown: "DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?"

Dan Aykroyd (as Elwood Blues): "What light?"

James Brown: "HAVE YOU SEEN THE LIGHT?"

John Belushi: "YES! YES! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST, I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!" (Proceeds to do backflips down the church aisle)

65👍 7👎

sweet zombie jesus on a pogo stick!

Phrase used in extreme exclamation. Derived by the chracacter of Black Mage in "8-bit Theatre" as he was being held over a pot of deadly acid.

Sweet zombie jesus on a pogo stick, we're screwed!

31👍 3👎

jesu maria santisima ni mameo

Word used in the countryside (el cibao) of the Dominican Republic to express amaizement or surprise.

Pedrito: hey mom, juanita bought a car that can talk while she drives!!!

Mom: jesu maria santisima ni mameo!!