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Jake is that one guy who will have one singular friend and become the best friend ever known to mankind to that one friend and become a painfully average guy to everyone else.
Jake Being Painfully Average: “Hey.”
Random Guy: “Hey.”
A Jake is someone who loves to pay for your dinner even when you can afford it. If you dont let a Jake pay for it then he gets so aggravated and aggressive to the point where no is not accepted. All so he can pay for a 5 dollar soup. A Jake is also someone who loves to sleep with a C-Pap machine and thinks everybody should have one even though he forgets to use it every night. A Jake is also someone who likes to play footsie with strangers in public stalls.
Oh sorry i couldnt make it over tonight im tired and forgot to use my c-pap. What a Jake!
This guy wigged out for not letting him pay for my dinner. God I wish he wasnt such a Jake!
I just used the restroom at a meeting and this creep was trying to play footsie with me. Creepy Jake!
Small pp and talks to much extremely illiterate and smells funky
Dick is very big and he is very skinny and his abs are very tight just like his but
I Fucked Jake and he made me cum
Jake is the best guy you will ever fucking meet. he has great taste in music and has the most amazing hair ever. he's the best friend you'll ever meet and lucky you if you have a Jake. He is loveable and caring and SUPER FUNNY. He has the dirtiest mind to ever exist and constantly makes dick jokes (ofc you join in) He's amazing and has like, BUFF arms. He's athletic and gives good hugs, Loves sweatshirts and sweatpants, and actually looks good in them. You've dedicated Spotify playlists to him and you think of him every time you hear a love song. He likes books about love and you always text at 2 am about them. He is like 6'5 and has the prettiest blue eyes. Although You know you can't have him, You still manage to fall in love with him so now you suffer every time you see him.
Bestie #1: Hey! Have you hung out with Jake recently??
Bestie #2: Omg yes! I hung out with him last night and it was so much fun!
Bestie #1: Honestly, Jake is so amazing and funny and I love him so much!!!!
He's the guy best friend everybody needs and loves, and he has an amazing but dirty sense of humor. He wears letterman hoodies every day and He causes you to crane your neck to talk to him. He has an interesting taste in music and has super buff arms. He has a smile that makes your heart flutter and the most perfect teeth ever. If you have a Jake, NEVER LET HIM GO
Friend: Do you know Jake?
YN: Yeah, We're texting!
Friend: OMG really you're so lucky!
YN: Yeah...He's really amazing
Jake’s are great, outgoing guys that are really fun to be around. They are always super sweet and understanding. They rarely get mad so if you make a Jake mad, then you really f’d up. Jake’s are actually marriage material and if one confesses his feelings for you, DONT REJECT HIM because he will treat you right....better than some foreign exchange student. If you make the foolish decision and reject him, he will end up liking a girl 2 1/2 years younger than him and then breaking her heart because he led her on for so long 🥲
Trick to use on a Jake: say you can read his mind by telling him to say his 2 favorite colors in his head. Then ask if it’s reflex blue and midnight black. He will be shocked and ask you how you guessed rights
Jake tips: NEVER ASK HIM HOW TALL HE IS OR EVEN MENTION HIS HEIGHT! He will end up lying to you. He will say he’s 5’10 when in reality, he is 5’8 maybe 5’8 and a half.
Girl 1: “hey did you see Jake’s awesome light show??
Girl 2: “yes omg it was amazing, I wanna marry him now”