Do you even trim?

A question asking if you trim your eyebrows, commonly used as a roast

Hey Simon do you even trim?
Pegasus do you even trim?

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Dost thou even hoist?

a synonym for the phrase "do you even lift?", but written in english more suited for Shakespeare

Teacher: Rob, did you even study for your English test last night?
Rob: Dost thou even hoist?

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You don't even know

When explaining something, but it would make no sense to anyone else that hears it. So at the end of the story you add YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

"We were so high we licked the floor, like.... you don't even know."

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i can't even with you

Said, usually in conjunction with a "smh" (or physical shaking of the head), in a situation where a person is just being a hot mess. Can either be a playful response to a friend (ex. 1) or a flabbergasted response to someone who isn't a friend (ex. 2).

1)
Joe: I got pissy drunk at the party last night, girl! I woke up in the parking lot of a retirement home.
Tiffany: OMG...I can't even with you.

2)
Will: I'm against gay marriage, I voted to deny prom tickets to gay couples in high school, I don't think gay people should be able to adopt kids, I've donated thousands of dollars to Exodus International, and I don't like Ricky Martin. How dare you call me a homophobe!
Justin: smfh...I can't even with you.

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I ain't even mad

A phrase used when a situation that would normally bother you is done in such a way that you can't help but be impressed.

Friend 1: *calls friend 2* Hey bro have you seen my bike?

Friend 2: Yeah bro my car had a flat I had to use it to get to class.

Friend 1: Bro you didn't even as...wait that's like a 20 minute drive by car!

Friend 2: Yeah man I wasn't even late.

Friend 1: Damn bro, I ain't even mad.

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I don't even caare!

An expression used when one has nothing else to say. Usually used after an insult.

Adrian: Hey Grant, you're a total fag!
Grant: Well guess what...I don't even caare!

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Do you even lift?

a condescending expression used on body building and fitness forums to question the legitimacy of someone’s fitness expertise or weight lifting routine. Similar to other interrogatives like “U Mad?” or “U Jelly?”, the phrase is mainly used to aggravate another user during arguments about physical fitness.

John: There's no way you'll make it on the football team.

Brian: Bro, do you even lift?

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