Dick jerky

The Act of cutting off one's penis, frying it and letting it dry into jerky before feeding it to your loved ones.

"Hey Betty, ready for sum Dick jerky?"

crooked jerky jockey

When you jerk your jock and it is not quite the straight rod you’re looking for. Usually drifting to the right unless you have an unusual dominant hand

The grinch is such a crooked spirit he even has a crooked jerky jockey

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quick jerkies

Or "quick jerky".

Means a really quick wank/fap/masturbation

"Now that's a quick jerky here i'll tell you what" or
"Sorry man gonna take some quick jerkies"