“Win-Fu” - the art of making something totally abstract and unrelated apply to any given situation, often using confusing language and esoteric logic, leaving the recipient stunned, with a “what-the-fuck-just-happened” look on their face. Often this involves the use of complicated diagrams and flow-charts.
Example: “Should I issue a $50.00 credit to the customer’s account?”
“Win-Fu” Response: The average human heart beat is 60 to 80 beats per minutes; athletes have much lower heart beats, around 50 BPM. Divide 60 by 80 and then subtract 50 and you will find the answer.
Example: “What is Customer Retention?”
“Win-Fu”: We know where the business is going. Currently, an IP address is formatted like this: 110XXXXX, with a max possible number of hosts of 28 - 2 = 254. In the future, and IP address will look like 0XXXXXXX, which can create a possible number of hosts of 224 - 2 = 16,777,214. Soon soup cans in the store with have their own IP addresses. This is what customer retention means.
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What you say to someone who disagrees with a suggestion from an expert on the Do It Yourself (DIY) television channel.
Dave: "That is a terrible suggestion from Norm on the New Yankee Workshop."
Keith: "Then, FU DIY."
Bill: "Nobody owns the equipment these master carpenters use."
Joe: "Well, when you run the network, you can call it FU DIY."
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A generic term for any particilar skill, technical ability, talent, etc.
"I've seen that guy's work before; it's excellent. He's got good kung fu"
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Literally 'ax qing dynasty'. Fu means axe, Manchu is shorthand for the Qing dynasty that ruled China before rabid nationalists took over on 11 Oct 1911. Thus, fu manchu is like saying 'cut off your pigtails' because queues (stupid pigtail things) were the symbol of the Qing's authority in their rule, all China dudes had to wear them as a subordinate thing. So, its very political, its an expression of dissent even. Hate-fuelled Qing hatred.
"Come here you stupid Manchurian i'm gonna ax your queues"
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1) Chinese fo "Skill learned over time".
2) The martial art that is shown off in movies, but is rarely practical for the casual person. Only useful if one dedicates hours a day to it.
3) To physically attack
4) What happens when you cook a cat and call it crispy duck.
"I'm gonna kung fu yo ass"
"mmmm... duck"
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