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I’m just speaking in general… — a story telling tactic used by old southern people when they are actually reading you from head to toe; inside and out; and from womb to tomb. In many ways, this is worse than if they put both feet in your ass and yelled at you about your folly.
“I’m just speaking in general” has four parts: a detailed summary of your past character; a current analysis of your present actions based on things you did as a child; a detailed outcome of you actions based on probability and having seen your story played out in other people’s lives that they have seen with their own eyes; and, an admonition to change your ways if you don't want to end up like the person they are just “speaking in general about.
Boy, I ain’t got no hang ups; I’m too old to have hang ups. Hang ups is for young people — I’m just speaking in general… Oh I knew a boy like you: he was hard headed when he was a baby and he’s head headed now. You know what they say about hard headed people: A HARD HEAD MAKES A SOFT ASSSSSSSSSSS!!!! I’m just speaking in general. But, if you don’t want to end up like that; you better change your ways!!!!!!!!!
145👍 9👎
I’m a big fan of you. — The most horrifying moment a luminary in any field can experience is the moment when a person suddenly invades their personal space while uttering the words: I’m a big fan of you.
Before even introducing themselves.
And there are several horrifying variants:
“I’m your biggest fan.”
“Do you want to meet my friends? They are big fans of you!”
“Do you want to meet my sister? She shy and thinks that you’re sexy; AND, SHE’S A BIG FAN OF YOU!!!!”
Even a luminary with incredible elan has difficulty with the savior faire of this moment. Especially if the sister is really attractive and the brother looks menacing AF!!!!
Moments like this have been immortalized by the writer Stephen King in the novel Misery. He took this moment to its most horrific extreme.
Comedian Louis C.K. also famed a moment like this in season 1 episode 5 of his FX television show. This may be hard to see because apparently he had some habits of which people were not a “big fan”.
This behavior has been made worse in the era of selfies when everyone has a camera on them at all times. Narcissistic, voyuer-istic culture has made the ability to move incognito a must.
Imagine being Taylor Swift and having this to you. I don’t have to imagine it because I have a picture to prove it actually happens. I’m a big fan of her!!!!!!!
Can I take a selfie with you? I think you’re HOT; and, I’m a big fan of you.
144👍 9👎
It will be over when I’m dead! — the definition of a good old fashioned grudge.
Example:
First person: C’mon forget about it. It’s over. Let’s let bygones be bygones.
Second Person: It will be over when I’m dead! — or when you are dead.
144👍 7👎
A girl who does one or more of the following and says she’s different because of this
-enjoys eating
-watches Netflix
-doesn’t go to parties
-plays video games
-likes reading (especially horror or mystery)
-doesn’t like skirts or dresses or crop tops
-listens to old music
-listens to Billie eilish
-wears checkered vans
-wears band t shirts
-were only black
-doesn’t wear makeup
-only wears makeup for themself
Girl 1: Is it just me, or am I the only one who actually would rather eat a pizza than go on a diet?
Person 1: literally everyone would rather eat pizza
Girl 1: I guess I’m not like other girls
205👍 13👎
Declaration of the total disregard of any and all consequence(s) for the events to follow succeeding this phrase
Larry: “Medicare for All, are you kidding me? You want government controlled medicine?”
Hasan: (chuckling) “Hell yeah”
Larry: “You’re insane”
Hasan: “Fuck it dude, I’m sayin’ it... America deserves free healthcare!”
40👍 1👎
It’s when your father don’t want to be in the family no more and he say im going to buy milk
He’s going to the store years later
Dad:I’m going to buy milk
Mom:but there is already milk here
Dad:we need more
*he leaves
*17 YEARS LATER
dad:I’m back from the store
52👍 3👎
A terrifying phrase of death that makes no sense but does make sense
Murderer in dream: chasing me
Me: turns dream to lucid dream
Me to Murderer: I’m going to shit yourself