dagwool sweater

The wool sweater, hand made, given to you at Christmas by a your half-blind, half-mad, widowed great-grandaunt. So hot, ill-fitting,itchy and of such a disurbing color that it can only have been crafted from the shitty clumps of wool (dags) sheered off the asses of sheep. Usually smells like cat pee and stale cigarettes.

Asswipe boy/girlfriend: "How'd you get a sunburn in December?"
You: "Its not a sunburn, asswipe, its full-torso eczema from having to pose for picures wearing the dagwool sweater my battletoad aunt made me."

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Pool Sweater

A term for excessive chest/back hair.

"woah man, is that a gorilla in the pool?"
"Naw, it's just Scott wearing his pool sweater"
"Yah, he takes it everywhere"

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Sharing Sweaters

Slang for "docking". The act of two men shoving the head of their dicks into each others foreskin while mutually masturbating.

I love sharing sweaters, it gets me so hot.

Lifer Sweater

A garment more utilitarian than fashionable, the Lifer Sweater is a sweater that long-term employees keep on the back of their chairs so that they can adapt to the office thermostat. This sweater, often in a neutral color, doesn't leave the office. Evern. Once an employee brings such a garment to work, it is safe to assume that the owner isn't planning on going anywhere.

"I hear Joe is looking for another job."

"Joe? No way--he's got a Lifer Sweater!"

sweater-biter

A girl who really digs a mans sweater (pull-overs, cardigans, cashmere, wool). Similar to a “tire biter”. She is super attracted to him, equating his status and love-making skills with the type of sweater he wears.

Woman:
“Guuuuuuurl, did you see Paul in that tight merino wool sweater yesterday? Damn, he so fine. I want a piece of that.”

Woman’s friend:
“Dang, you’re a total and complete sweater-biter”

Sweater Jets

Particularly appealing women's breats. Usually very large in size.

check out the sweater jets on that broad.

I titty fucked the shit out of those sweater jets last night!

beach sweater

High density full coverage back and chest hair worn on public beaches and office retreats staged at beach resorts.

Bruh! A seal!. No. Carter just 'stache-waxed his beach sweater..