touching fabric

when you have to shit so bad your shit is doing the turtle and pokes out and touches your underwear

We gotta pull over and get to the gas station quick cause I'm touchin fabric over here.

28👍 7👎

Butt Touched

An extreme feeling of being Butt hurt & Touched at the same time. It is a feeling of being offended hardcore.

Rachel was hella butt touched when Allen said "I'm busy, can i ignore you some other time?"

12👍 2👎

Ipod Touch

A device capable of being an arrogant piece of shit with a mind of it's own while also being able to be the coolest ipod yet.

Jimmy: "Hey, my Ipod Touch has a mind of it's own. It's a bitch.''
Elliott: ''What do you mean?"
Jimmy: "Well, the other day, the internet kept turning on and off so I threw it and it started working again, but i still love it''.
Elliott: "Cool now i want one".
Jimmy: don't throw it too hard, or i guess we will have to call it Ifucked.""

230👍 92👎

touch-up

Touch up: to hit or punch someone in a fight.

I had to give that guy a touch-up because he ran his mouth.

19👍 4👎

pepe touch

When a opposing person gently rubs the tip of your pepe snout.This should make you go crazy.

I cant believe that prude girl gave me a pepe touch.My pepe snout must be sexy!

15👍 4👎

barber's touch

when a male barber presses his genitals against your hand while it is sitting on the armrest when getting a haircut.

Derp: Today while getting a haircut the barber totally gave me barber's touch!

16👍 3👎

touch yourself

What you do at night

Peter: Why did the dinosaurs die out?
Teacher: Because you touch yourself at night!

195👍 76👎