velvet hammer

drinkers of "Hey GuY" beer, often found vomitting into frying pans and local drinking establishments in Calgary, Vancouver and Victoria. XX: Zippy, Duck, Rat, Sherwood, Paint Tray

"holee fuck whats on my shoe?"
"..oh that, thats the Velvet Hammer baby"

22👍 85👎

velvet noodle

A noodle made from velvet

look at the velvet noodle

5👍 13👎

Red Velvet

When a guy with a full-fledged beard goes down on a girl on her period.

Dude, everything was great! Including my red velvet (squeeze, squeeze his beard)."drip, drip"

8👍 27👎

velvet clam

A vagina that has been dusted in cocoa powder, and covered in vanilla frosting.

And then I got to taste the velvet clam.

1👍 1👎

Velvet Tuberose

Any variation of gay sexual positions.

I took Cartershaw home and used every Velvet Tuberose I'd seen from my parents' porn collection!!

1👍 2👎

Velvet duster

When a women has a heavy flow and is able to squirt, and you got the right spot

Dude I got the velvet duster last night

She can do the velvet duster

1👍 1👎

Velvet Lesbian

An emotionally pretentious person.
Someone who holds themselves to a standard that can be easily usurped.
Is deeply offended by any type of criticism.

John is such a velvet lesbian. I have to pretend that I like all of his music because he gets emotional when people don't share his musical opinion.
"You just don't understand me, and you never will." -John

1👍 1👎