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A person who looks like they are entirely made out of Dark chocolate, especially dark chocolate.
Now what were they called again..... Oh I know it! Those kind of people are called Dark Chocolate People!
The type of people you DO NOT want coming to your checkout lane if you work at a store under any circumstances. They get pissed off at you for not knowing a damn thing about prices, sales, or deals, take forever to get their shit out/put it away, can't hear worth shit, don't give a fuck if there's a lot of people in line behind them, and LOVE to write checks/give exact change. Bonus points if they smell like their cats used their clothes as a litter box, you're the only person on register, and/or they smell like they shit themselves. They also love pissing off people on the road by driving 25 mph in a 55 mph zone, and almost causing car accidents and/or road rage by driving so fucking slow.
Old hag: I thought the prunes were half off.
Me (hiding the fact that I know she smells like a litter box): I'm sorry, I don't know about the sale
Hag: Pardon?
Me (raises my voice so she can hear me): SORRY, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE SALE.
(10 minutes later...)
Me: THAT'LL BE $69.69
Hag: Let me write this check.
Me (pissed off and on the verge of having a fucking stroke due to my blood pressure getting dangerously high due to stress): …
(The old hag is handed her receipt after I troubleshoot the stupid check, and takes 5 minutes to gather her shit, and my next customer is a creepy old man)
Creep (staring at my tits after setting 2 bottles of Vaseline on the belt): I thought Vaseline was half off.
Me (still secretly pissed and on the verge of having a stroke and dying): I'm just a cashier, so I don't know.
Creep: Pardon?
Me (raises voice again): I'M JUST A CASHIER SO I DON'T KNOW.
(5 minutes of haggling later...)
Me: THAT'LL BE $17.38
Creep (removes his gaze from my breasts to get the money): Let me give you exact change.
(5 minutes later, he gives me the money, I give him his receipt, and he hobbles away. After my shift is over, I quit and never return to the store).
Ugh! Old people!
Americans over 50 are worse than younger people at telling facts from opinions, according to a new study by Pew Research Center.
Given 10 statements, five each of fact and opinion, younger Americans correctly identified both the facts and the opinions at higher rates than older Americans did. Forty-four percent of younger people identified all five opinions as opinions, while only 26 percent of older people did. And 18-to-29-year-olds performed more than twice as well as the 65+ set. Of the latter group, only 17 percent classified all five facts as factual statements.
P1: old people have an opinion about everything if it's not done old school it's incorrect.
Individuals who work in a corporate office where their primary workstation is a cubicle. They are tasked with making decisions that impact an entire corporation or organization. The decisions they make are often, if not always, terrible decisions that a significantly larger group of people who do the physical work in the field have to suffer through. For a group to be considered “Cube People” they must…
1. Be in charge of making decisions that others not working in a comfortable office must complete or comply with.
2. Have very little or no practical knowledge for what they are making decisions on.
Supervisor: Team, as you all know we had an incident last week where Larry tripped on his own shoelaces. Going forward an alarm will ring on the intercom every 15 minutes. When you hear the alarm, please stop what you are doing and check your shoelaces.
Employee: Who come up with this genius idea?
Supervisor: I got an email from corporate this morning mandating it.
Employee: Fucking Cube People!
Individuals who work in a corporate office where their primary workstation is a cubicle. They are tasked with making decisions that impact an entire corporation or organization. The decisions they make are often, if not always, terrible decisions that a significantly larger group of people who do the physical work in the field have to suffer through. For a group to be considered “Cube People” they must…
1. Be in charge of making decisions that others not working in a comfortable office must complete or comply with.
2. Have very little or no practical knowledge for what they are making decisions on.
Supervisor: Team, as you all know we had an incident last week where Larry tripped on his own shoelaces. Going forward an alarm will ring on the intercom every 15 minutes. When you hear the alarm, please stop what you are doing and check your shoelaces.
Employee: Who come up with this genius idea?
Supervisor: I got an email from corporate this morning mandating it.
Employee: Fucking Cube People!
A day to celebrate all short people named marius. Marius is the leading name of all people under. 5’1
Hey it’s National Short People Named Marius Day.
He’s so short.