Can I feel your heartbeat

A excuse often made by men to touch a woman’s tit and to not sound like a rapist at the same time

“Can I feel your heartbeat?”
“Hm oh sure”

Is there anything I can do for you or your family

I want to do everything to you and your family

“Hello, I would like to have sex. Is there anything I can do for you or your family?”

If you’re bored you can come to my room

Jimin’s way of asking for a juicy night with his boyfriend Jungkook.

Jimin: (gives Jungkook the “Jungkook-ssi~~~ I’m needyyy for the jungcock” look)

Jungkook: “We aren’t sharing a room, Jimin-ssi”

Jimin: “If you’re bored you can come to my room.”

IT CAN WAIT

You use this saying when it can honestly just wait, when u don't give not one single fuk about someone's words or actions.

Her: You trynna fuck ??
Him: IT CAN WAIT

The church can save this country

All you have to do is whatever I say forever regardless of whether or not the direct or peripheral effect of doing that is bad and regardless of the outcome...

A muffin "The church can save this country!"

Hym "Then why is it not doing that?"

A muffin "Uh... Well, you're not doing what I say forever."

Hym "Right, but if you believe that then you should just be doing that anyway, right? Like, you could save the country... But you're not doing it so..."

A muffin "Withholding aid and resources as punishment for non-compliance is part of the religion I'm doing to you."

Hym "Yeah, ok, so it can't save the country... It's harming the country by withholding aid (arbitrarily) and you're offering to STOP DOING THE THING YOU'RE DOING... In exchange for forever-compliance?"

A muffin "Correct."

Hym "So, you're not saving the country. You're destroying the country until everyome does what you want?"

A muffin "Correct... BUT! I COULD be saving it instead... But I'm not going to unless you fuck your sister."

hmm oh nice computer you got there can i have it

if you hear this on your comuter then i hope your computer isnt hacked

Computer:hmm oh nice computer you got there can i have it
Person:Wait a minu-
(blue screen appears on computer)

what can you do if you get scammed

Here are a list of things to do if you get scammed:
tell ur grandma, if she's not dead
tell ur pet rock
dlet ur acount
kill ze sca,,er
die

Friend 1: Bro, what can you do if you get scammed?

Friend 2: tell ur grandma, if she's not dead

Friend 1: dead, next

Friend 2: tell ur pet rock

Friend 1: oh thanks mate!