Rules for thee but not for me

Usually a phrase said when cops abuse their power doing things as if they're above the law, it's a saying when someone believes they have authority over the law to do whatever they want.

Person 1: "holy shit... did you see that cop just blow through that red light?"
Person 2: "rules for thee but not for me"

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Six Month Rule

The idea and the rule that no woman is so perfect that you cannot get over her in six months or less. Regardless of how fucking perfect she seemed to be.

This rule applies to all relationships but excludes marriages, since marriages *usually* involve a period of divorce which takes forever and involves losing half of your stuff.

J: I'm trying to keep myself busy, I hope I'm not in this post-breakup depressed mood forever... Six month rule, right?
A: Oh yeah, I know what you mean
J: I mean, its not my fault that Mary cheated on me, sigh...

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five second rule

h2oincfs' Corollary:

The food can remain on the floor for longer than five seconds, as long as you started reaching for it before the five seconds expired.

I had to change position after my first attempt to reach the Cheesy Poof that had fallen under my desk failed. However, I had begun the attempt before five seconds had passed, therefore the five second rule was not broken.

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The 86-20 Rule

The 86-20 rule states that 86% of all income taxes are paid by the top earning 20% of the taxpayers.

Fuck poor people...don't they understand the 86-20 rule?

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balling up rules

Rules for smoking weed or getting high

In Toronto, we literally have balling up rules. If the spliff, is ita? don't even pass it to me. If we link to ball up and you don't even have your own like... I'm not passing my ting to you. PLEASE if you put a filter on your splizzy or your blizzy?? No don't even pass that to me. And everyone knows like if you don't really like the person you better have your own full splizzy you know cause we're not sharing. If your Grabba smells funny and we all know that one person who say they have the best grabba and then it smells like crazy bad like you just know it's not hot... I'm not smoking it!

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500 mile rule

The amount of distance it takes to prove your love for a broad.

Lover: I walked 5500 F***ing miles to see this girl!
Friend: Wow... You just passed the 500 mile rule! You're set for life!

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rule 4/1

4/1 - April's first.
No one in the entire internet can be trusted, especially on 4/1.

*on 4/1*
Guy1: ¡Oh my god , Half life 3 is coming out and Facebook buys Linux!

Guy2: Rule 4/1.

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