Low Desk Syndrome

When your desk is so low your hand hits the bottom of the desk due to excessive fapping.

"Dudes really suffering from low desk syndrome"

Desk Commute

Commuting from your bed to your desk in the morning.

Popularized with the “work from home” movement post-Covid.

Instead of commuting in your car on a long trip to work, you now must instead commute from the comfort of your sleep to your computer desk.

Employee 1: Why is Janet on the Zoom meeting today? The boss is gonna be pissed at her.

Employee 2: She probably overslept and never made the desk commute

Desk Vultures

What you and your co workers become when someone leaves the office for other employment.

One coworker says to another "Dang girl, you should have seen it this morning. They were tall over that empty cubical like a flock of desk vultures"

Articulated Desk Lamp

A fancy lamp for people who need light so they don't feel depressed. Move it around and there will be light all over your desk. Just make sure to keep it away from any i's.

Did that articulated desk lamp just murder the pixar i?
It certainly did

Dice, key, desk.

Daisuki-desu. Japanese for 'I love you'.

"Bro, whats on your mind?", "Dice, key, desk. "

"That's so random. What, you thinking of going to Ikea?"

"Yeah. Wanna come? Help me search for a (s)key"

sus

did you just shit on my desk

a question asked directly after someone shits on a desk. this is specifically from southpark(like all offensive things) when cartmen shat on Mr. Mackeys desk

cartmen:*shits on desk*
Mr. Mackey:eric did you just shit on my desk?

fish desking

The act of attaching a dead (or live) fish to the underside of a coworkers desk.

Awww man! Ross has been fish desking the shit out of me lately!