Random
Source Code
Random
A respectable institution located in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The school mascot is a large variety of weasel known as the wolverine, and the school colors are corn and blue. This institution is characterized by students that truly believe that everyone hates them because they jealous of their extreme intellectual superiority and athletic talent. However outside of their "lovely" city/campus/slum, these elitist douchebags don't realize that everyone really hates them because (drumroll please)... they are elitist douchebags. These students are also characterized by their unfriendly attitude towards outsiders that will ultimately condemn them to a horrible fate of only befriending other fellow U of M cohorts. Throughout the rest of the state of Michigan, and for that matter, the rest of the United States, those who affiliate themselves with U of M are generally looked upon with disdain, pity, or outright disgust because of these unfounded self-righteous attitudes. Their non-student fan base is notorious for having a large amount of red-neck hicks too stupid to get into ANY institution of higher learning, and a student fan base famous for booing their own teams in times of trouble. At times, supporters and students of U of M can become so delusional as to believe that their institution is an Ivy League school, thus inspiring chuckles of patronizing pity from everyone who knows better. If one has the unfortunate luck of having to meet with a Wolverine supporter or student, one should disregard their truly pointless and pompous speeches about the superiority of this institution, and instead hand them a flashlight in order to help them in the quest of removing their head from their rectum.
"Hey Jimmy, what's that?"
"This? Oh, it's just my acceptance letter to the University of Michigan, Johnny."
"Wow, now everyone I know has one of those."
"Yeah, they offered me a four-year academic and athletic scholarship."
"So are you gonna go there?"
"No I think I'd rather scrape my eyeballs out with a plastic spork. And besides, I'll never get into a good career because no one will want to fucking deal with me. But what should I do with the letter?"
"I used mine to wipe my ass."
318👍 417👎
Central Michigan is like unprotected sex; happy you got in, upset that you came.
A school that people come to without actually thinking of the consequences. "Yes I got in! Oh shit I'm actually at this sick place now" "Dude you didn't realize that Central Michigan sucks dick!"
28👍 28👎
Essentially the preppy assholes of the Big Ten, they have some of the laziest and most uninspired fans in all of college sports. One gets the sense that there would be no such thing as a Michigan fan if the state of Michigan wasn't so intensely boring. Their football stadium is atrocious, and literally stinks.
"But.. but.. but we've won 11, I mean 13, I mean 16 national championships!! By our count, anyways."
534👍 728👎
When you take a dump on their face, bust a nut, and then smoothen the surface with your testicles four times over to create a smooth driving surface
My girlfriend was feeling freaky and begged for a Hot Karl, but I suggested a "Michigan Steamroller." She agreed and I indulged in these wild pleasures
12👍 11👎
An elite school where the fake hippy lexus driving women come complete with armpit hair, the men all want to be Trey from Phish, and the athletes breeze through what appears to be a collection of middle school classes.
Wolvies tend to not be able to demonstrate loyalty to their sports teams. As seen in the constant booing of Mr. Carr during his last coaching seasing, the fairweather following of Mr. Rodriguez, and the firing of Mr. Amacker.
Wolvies take pride a basketball group called the Fab 5, but I guess when you PAY for a team you can build whatever you want.
Its a group that needs to look back at history because the school has been on existent for several years in any sport.
Through their arrogance, the NFL non playing Mike Harts little brother comment has become joy due to the lack of progress Michigans football team has show (or Mikey for that matter)
You Blew!
University of Michigan pays the fab 5
Lack of Loyalty
Pointing Fingers
False sense of arrogance
Lack of Pride
Most boring school in the big 10
204👍 276👎
one of the most amazing shots in the game of hockey. where the handler is behind the net, scoops up the puck with his/her stick and swings it into the goal right past the goalies head.
Dude1: Yo man, i just pulled of the Michigan Shot.
Dude2: Shut up you tweed, no you didn't, your paralyzed from the waist down.
8👍 7👎
A weird stupid city that everyone thinks is from Rhode Island, so you'll end up having to explain, to someone out of *city* for that matter, that you don't live there. There is literally nothing in Newport to do, so all most people do is sit down and complain about it.
"Do you wanna go to Newport, Michigan?"
"No, I don't wanna be bored to death, thanks."
8👍 6👎