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being that i live in missouri, i'm qualified to write this. missouri is a state in the united states of america, given the name "the show-me state." in this state there are only two good places to live: st louis (stl) and north kansas city (nkc). missouri is full of rednecks and hillbillies, and is largely a red state. lgbt+ and poc looking to live in missouri (for whatever godforsaken reason) shouldn't live anywhere outside of these two cities. they're the most liberal and accepting places in missouri, and you will have the highest quality of life there.
stl is a lively city, with some claiming that it's like a separate state on its own. when visiting, many enjoy the stl zoo or the gateway arch. nkc is more calm, but there are many entertaining things to do while living there. if you want to visit missouri, however, stl is the recommended destination.
another fun thing to do in missouri is visit the lake of the ozarks. if you have a place there and a boat or jet ski, the lake and surroundings are beautiful. many people live on the lake or by it, and while the water is often dirty and tree branch-ridden in certain places, you'll never regret the experience.
it may be commonly thought of as an incest-ridden hillbilly state, and the locals there may often think so as well, but missouri is a decent place to live. while i wouldn't recommend it to anyone, many people will feel right at home here, and it would be unwise to write it off without looking more into the better parts.
person a: im writing a story about kawaii gay rednecks who play banjo and have hot sex in front of their boxer dog uwu
person b: fuckin sexy, where do they live
person a: kyaaa they live in missouri hehe owo
Do you want Oklahoma but with no lakes and ten times as fucking boring? Missouri is right there. Crackheads, drugs, abandoned buildings? We have it all. Wanna shoot up? Ask your neighbor for some heroin! Here at missouri well give you whatever you want if you got a gun pointed towards our head! Well except the rednecks they get a little feisty if you walk across there house. Also perfect for kidnappings! Cops don’t give a shit here in Missouri! Ever wanted all your shit robbed? Welcome to Missouri we’re there’s a pedophile and criminal in every half a mile radius!
Guy 1: Let’s move to Missouri!
Guy 2: I’ve always wanted to smoke laced weed at a kum & go parking lot. Let’s go!
The one state in the US that allows a 20&14 year old to have sex with eachother.
When andy was 20 he had sex wiyh arleen who was 14, but he shockingly didn't get arrested, cuz in missouri when you're younger than 21, you can have sex with someone down to 14, but when you're 21, the younger person has to be 21.
When a women clamps a man’s asshole open and pours his own seman down it until it’s full
“Yeah bro my girl pulled a Missouri Manhole on me last night”
When the male fingers the female with very sharp fingernails, so bits and pieces of the inner vagina comes out. The male then eats these pieces while screaming about gold.
Person 1: hey hows the wife
Person 2: not good. I tried the Missouri Mineshaft last night
Person 1: im calling the police
The act of shitting into somebody’s armpit and licking it dry.
Joseph: Yoo Edon wanna do a The Missouri StenchPit
Edon: Yes but I wanna be the shitee okay
Joseph: Alright time too shit on your pits