Morning wood

When a guy wakes up with a woody in his pants.(Really hard to get rid of.)

"Giovanni how do you get rid of morning wood."-Enrique
"I look at a picture of your mom..."-Giovanni
"Fuck off."- Enrique
"Let me finish then I jack off, cause your moms a MILF."-Giovanni
"You're a ass."-Enrique

183👍 96👎

Morning Star

While "Morning Star" can refer to Satan, it's also the name of a type of spiked mace derived from the Medieval period (and vastly used in RPGs and MMORPGs today). A morning star's like a mace, except that maces only have a blunt, crushing head; while morning stars are the variants that have a sharp cluster of metal spikes to add to the smashing power. Many people confuse these to be maces, whereas maces are only ever *blunt*.

Another common understanding of maces is with regards to the "ball-and-chain", where a morning star's spiked head (sometimes left blunt) is swung around on a chain or rope. These are actually called "flails", not maces.

"Nice mace."
"No, this isn't a mace. It's a Morning Star."

77👍 37👎

morning unconstitutional

Deprivation of the God-given right to unload last night's meal.

I'm feeling bloated today. I started the day off with a morning unconstitutional.

16👍 5👎

Morning Vista

After having unprotected sex, when you try to take a piss, but it goes everywhere and you have to clean the bathroom.

After I had sex with that prostitute I woke up and morning vistad. It sucked.

34👍 14👎

morning wood

When you get a NARB (no apparent reason boner) after waking up, usually caused by a full bladder pressing against the prostate.

- Today I woke up with a boner the size of the Washington fucking Memorial.
- lol.

1228👍 745👎

Morning Congestion

A fake term created by famous American douchebag Dre Drexler. It is non-existent even though he apparently has a spray that gets rid of it.

This spray gets rid of my shitty morning congestion.

10👍 2👎

Morning Iron

Just like morning wood, but this type is hard like iron. Also its not that easy to get rid of.

"Man I got morning iron like a mother fucker. Well its time to rub one out"

"Fuck the hammer, I got something better than that (pulls out cock)"

9👍 2👎