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Jesus

Merry Christmas to all! I tell you a little about me.

I fucking loathe the Whore of Babylon Sarah for trying to steal Leon from me (I will never allow that in infinity years! Leon's is mines bitch!), but jokes on her, I got guns and U.S military experience. But anyways, I have fought in the Gulf War, Iraq and Afghanistan War, and have been stationed in many countries, including Germany, Japan, Guam, among many others. I have also met President Joe Biden and voted for him (still support Joe Biden btw).

I am a bisexual, but I have met my one true love, Leon. He is everything I want in a man, and makes me feel complete. I'm also Latina and my parents for some reason named me Jesus Christ, but hey, I love the name.

I'm a total butch girl and I like all things tough (I love my Ford F-250 truck!) and love America like no tomorrow. I also love guns and have quite a collection. I fight like nails! Black belts in all martial arts you can think of, and have some experience in Special Ops. I also lift bro.

"Why do you like Joe Biden Jesus?" - Some random friend

"Because he reminds me of my Dad!" - Female Jesus Christ

by JesusIsLeon'sGirlfriend December 25, 2023


Jesus

Something you need

Y/n : Hey I just read 18+ wattpad!
Dude: You need Jesus

by Sus jay September 8, 2021

1👍 1👎


Jesus

ShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrekShrek

jesus=Shrek

by Hugh Cockiner September 7, 2021


Jesus

Jesus is our savior and our God. He loves us God

Guy one: hey man are you going to church

Guy two: why what do you do there
Guy one: learn about Jesus

Guy two: oh okay sounds good I’m in

by Rose1320 March 14, 2022

1👍 1👎


Jesus

Has a huge cock, and have the girls madly in love with him. He never gets upset and loves to watch porn. He’s a caring loving man who needs love and affection. Who’s daddy? Jesus is.

Yes daddy Jesus

by Chaddychat22 November 23, 2021


Jesus

A name of a very cute guy

Omg did you see Jesus he is so cute.

by Chulito November 23, 2021


Jesus

It seems more believable as an alternate possibilty that Jesus was a black kid Mary adopted than Mary giving birth to Jesus as a virgin. If nobody got Mary pregnant, Jesus wasn't her kid, no way.

Jesus could have looked like anyone if he was a real person and not a myth.

by Solid Mantis March 5, 2021