i used to roll the dice

A joke translation of "Vivi La Vida" by ColdPlay

I used to roll the dice, feel my dick in my enemy's ass
Listen as the crowd would sing, now the old king is dead. Lol.
One minute I held my nuts, next my balls were closer on me
And I discovered sans. Apon pillars of salt and pillars of salt and pillars of salt and pillars of salt
I hear Jackie chan singing, omae wa mou shindeiru
Beat my meat
My soooooooooooooos
For some reason I can't explain, why we live in a sociaty
Were gamers
Don't rule the world.

73👍 5👎

shit rolls down hill

In military parlance it means anything crappy coming from the top of the chain of command will hit everyone down to the bottom. This includes dumbass decision making, disciplinary actions, or simply a superior taking his frustrations out on subordinates.

Privates, I'm knee deep in your ass right now because the 1st Sgt was knee-deep in my ass this morning, and shit rolls down hill!

98👍 6👎

rock-n-roll buckaroo

a phrase used to provoke ghosts and demons. Often used while laying in a pentagram in the basement of a haunted house while ghost hunting with your excessively paranoid friend.

Shane: *lying on pentagram*

Shane: here we go!
Ryan: you're out of your mind!
Shane: rock-n-roll buckaroo!
Shane: (talking to demons:) if you want to eat my heart, turn that light on...

28👍 1👎

That's How I Roll

An amazing signature creation from Cold Stone Creamery made with Cake Batter Ice Cream, Cookie Dough, Fudge, and Whipped Cream! YUMMM!!!

Cold Stone Mixmaster: Hi Welcome to Cold Stone! I can help the next group in line!

you: yes, I would like a Gotta Have it size That's How I Roll please. OH! With a waffle bowl too!

18👍 92👎

Roll out the pink carpet

To offer sex as a form of gratitude or atonement.

As gratitude:

Jeff: "I helped your sister get her car out of a snow bank last night"

Mike: "Thanks dude, that's cool of you"

Jeff: "No need to thank me, she rolled out the pink carpet"

Mike: "What?!"

As atonement:

Jeff: "Fern borrowed my new car and scratched the damn paint!"

Mike: "Did she roll out the pink carpet?"

Jeff: "Damn right she did!"

74👍 6👎

double barrel roll

(noun) Some snowboarding term thatScott Thomson uses...I think it's like a flip or something...

"Double barrel roll...double barrel? More like GT! I'm gonna wanna run...gold medal!"

3👍 9👎

roll your quaters

To Masturbate

FUCK! ive got a huge boner im going to go roll my quaters

Damn Josh, you fucking bater all you ever do is roll your quaters!

3👍 9👎