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I pressured my Mormon girlfriend into tugging me of last night. No lube and just her shame filled sobs. It’s was a total English Handshake.
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Hell. You'll think you can handle it, and you'll do well in the class but the bags under your eyes and desperation for sleep with say otherwise.
English Honors teacher: Class, I am assigning a reading to be done independently. Its from page 103- 253 and it's due tomorrow.
Class: *zombie-like moans*
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A type of English, per say, southern California natives use consisting of the words "like", "totally", "so", "ya know", "freakin'", “um”, and "oh my gosh/god/goodness"; the sentences we speak are usually seemingly run-on and often extremely exaggerated for effect. These words are typically accompanied with a hair flip for girls. We pretty much live up to our stereotypes, but that’s okay because Californians are rad <3
girl 1: oh. my. god. did you see that girl with like her fake hair extensions?
girl 2: yeah, oh my gosh, it's soooooooooooo freakin' ugly, like ew, gross, who would ever do that?
girl 1: I know right?! Let’s just go I can’t like handle this anymore
girl 2: yeah, let’s
*simultaneous hair flip from both girls*
^and that, my dears, is californian english
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Defined as "trash that doesn't get you a job" by non-English majors
Jimmy: english majors are gonna be jobless, man
Tom: bruh how do you know that? Wasn't your major business?
Jimmy: I just know
Tom: how
Jimmy: shhhhhh I just know
Tom: bruh
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American English is a version of English that actually predates British English; when the colonists were sent over to America, the language essentially "froze" because of broken contact with the British island. The linguistical isolation that ensued caused the English language to split into two main dialects: American and British English.
Contrary to popular belief, American English is not ebonic slang and it is very hard to definitively pin down American and British English, due to the fact that language constantly evolves. Slang does occasionally make its way into the long term lexicon, but only when spoken by a large percentage of the people. Therefore, it is very unlikely that gangsta speech or ebonics will ever be anything more than bastardized slang.
Words like 'fall' and 'autumn' mean the same thing, but one word is actually older than the other, and is in more common usage due to the isolation caused by the
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Dis is da kine language used by locals and surfahz dat stay back in da 808 state usually when locals move down 2 da mainland cuz dey momz and dey dad like move down deah mos da kidz i kno still try fo bring sumthin down from hawaii onlee ting is dey get no waves in dis haole states dat no mo watah so dey go an speak da kine but in hawaii da pidgin stay live and can alwayz speak wheneva u like. WARNING:haoles and tourist please don't try 2 speak pidgin u going get derrty licknz don't say i neva wet warn yooh!
BRADDAH#1:ey bah u know da dum haole boy went make fun of me cas i went speak da pidgin?
braddah#2:c now what happenz when u go 2 da haole state!
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Gramatically correct English. Plain, to the point, free of euphamisms, jargon, slang, inuendo, etc.
There are some who deride the Queen's English as too exacting, too demanding, and accuse it of being a tool to discredit those who may have a valid point, but lack formal education, and are inarticulate, and use slang and incorrect grammar. The answer, of course, would be to give everyone a formal education, not to reject the proper pronounciation of words.
I say "ignant," not "ignorant." "Ignorant" is in the Queen's Englisn, and the Queen's English is a tool of the Man to keep us down!
Dude, you have an ivy league education, you can pronounce "ignorant" correctly, so do it. It's downright insulting for a middle-class intellectual like yourself to go around mimicking the voice patterns of urban blacks on principle. It doesn't matter what color you or they are, it matters that you're the one with the college education and they're the ones who can hardly put food on their tables.
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