Turtle Slerpping

When you slowly pull your penis out of a woman's vagina while the woman clenches her vagina causing a slerpping sound.

I was in the middle of fucking and i pulled my groin. So i slowly got up and heard a slerping sound come out from beneath me. I realized that we had just been "Turtle Slerpping"

Turtle Job

When a person curls their lips over their teeth while performing a blow job. This results in less irritation to the penis from teeth chafing but causes the performer to resemble a turtle.

Fred: Man, my dick is so raw from my girlfriends terrible blow job last night.
Jack: Dude! Just have her give you a turtle job next time.

Lisa Turtle

Being the only black person in a group of white people

I would run for congress but I don't want to be a Lisa Turtle.

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Turtle Mouth

Term used to describe people of Greek origin.

John Stamos from "Full House" is Turtle Mouth.

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Throw the turtle

The act of throwing a turtle against the wall in a post masturbation rage. Or to pleasure yourself by vigarous masturbation.

When I read my old issues of Boys Life I have an overwhelming urge to throw the turtle.

Turtle Peeking

A euphemistic expression regarding the extreme urgency to defecate and holding it in as much in as possible. Having the pressure of a fecal turd poking itself partially out of the bum hole while trying to make it to the closest restroom.

Roger sprinted down the hall from his desk to the restroom. He has a turtle peeking.

Turtle Spear

A thin hollow tube of plastic for drinking liquids, also know as a straw. Occasionally found in the stomachs of animals and in the noses of turtles.

Starbucks Barista: How can I help you?
Jeremy: Can I get a Grande Iced Caramel Macchiato, minus the turtle spear?
Starbucks Barista: ...Excuse me?
Jeremy: A Turtle Spear.. you know, the thing used to drink your overpriced coffee and kill turtles?
Starbucks Barista: Ooh a straw! Sure thing.
Jeremy: Thank you! Just trying to save the world.