beach jerk

When you are at the beach and you are jerking off to a hot mermaid/merman

Hot damn that guy is beach jerking

jerking a turd

Jerk•ing•a•turd jerk-in-uh-turd

-adjective
1. Speculative term used to refer to someone's tardiness or absence.

2. late; absent; missing.

Question: "Where's the groom?"
Answer: "I don't know. He’s probably jerking a turd."

The ceremony starts at 3:00 PM sharp. You better be there - don’t be jerkin’ a turd.

Surf and jerk

A surf and jerk is when you get a handjob while eating seafood.

Hey remember Brenda from last night, well she gave the best surf and jerk ever .

Hot jerk

Verb: After one returns from being outside in the cold, one then proceeds to run their hands under scalding hot water, and then begins to masturbate

Dude, after I shoveled the snow I rewarded myself with a hot jerk

Circular jerk

Similar to circular logic; When people stroke themselves by stroking others. Very common in the corporate setting.

Board member: Mr. Peterson is doing a stellar job running this company. I'm so glad I cast the deciding vote to hire him.

Employee under breath: Running this company into the ground. Classic circular jerk, dude.

cave jerk

when one masturbates with his/her arm under one leg whilst making caveman noises

*knock knock*
"What's all that strange grunting?"

"wtf?!? I'm cave jerking in here!"

squat jerk

the act of squatting and jerking your meat simultaneously

i squat jerked for 20 minutes last week any my legs still hurt!