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Valentines day can also be known as the worst day to be single. It also reminds you that you'll never find love.
single person: great it's Valentines day. I'm just going to go see a movie by myself.
At the movie: couples everywhere.
single person: I'm alone forever.
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Its the day not to celebrate Valentines Day, its the day to celebrate National Condom Week.
I wore a Condom on Valentine's Day to celebrate National Condom Week
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when u were a child u asked wtf do i need a valentine for? well chocolate, now u ask wtf do i need a valentine for? u answered ass :}
Valentine's Day -
10yr boy : GIVE ME THAT CHOCOLATE!
18yr boy : GIVE ME THAT ASS!!
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When two single friends don't have a valetine on Valentine's Day, but want to spend it with someone without any romantic feelings involved.
Nicole: James is my Valentine buddy this year. We're going to dinner.
Gail: I thought y'all were just friends?
Nicole: We are. Why spend the evening alone when you can spend it with a friend though?
Crystal: You want to be my Valentine buddy this year?
Brandon: What are our plans?
Crystal: watch horror movies and eat pizza.
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Late november would be the most common time for a valentines day baby to be born.
Your an idiot.
If you were concieved on valentine's day and born october first that makes you premature by about 2 months.
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A day invented by the Government in order to increase sales and prices on all things associated with love. These include roses chocolates, and anything else that would make somebody happy and/or 'warm'. This was a very good con thought up, as if you don't buy your loved one something, they will hit you, scream at you, dump you, and not give you that $100 bottle of champagne that you saw them hide in their bra (which they would probably ask you to 'fish out', leading to...!xxxKERCHINGxxx!).
It is also a conspiracy against 'ginger ningas' (red-heads), who of course will never receive or give anything for valentine
Blonde Super Model: I love Valentine's day- I get so many presents!
Red Headed Minger Ninga: *punches babe* FUCK YOU!
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When ur already in the friend zone and your crush wants you to remember it on valentines day
Hey you wanna be my platonic valentine
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