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the central figure of the gayest and dumbest man-made religion ever (aka Christianity). he is also the 1/3 of a dumb concept which makes no sense (the Holy Trinity, 3 in 1 shampoo). he gets more recognition than God Himself, his creator (really dumb innit). The most brainwashed people on earth (aka christians) have chosen to worship him, even though Jesus has never told anyone to do so. The only people who follow his teachings correctly are the Muslims.
"Please don't worship Jesus, he's just a prophet, not a god, nor part of a trinity."
me, i'm very obviously jesus
Me: Hello
Everyone: Oh my god! It's literally Jesus Christ!
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Sexy ass mother fucker I wanna rail so hard him and someone named Moussa were in bed last night
Jesus is super sexy
Moussa: Ikr!
Julissa: wow I’m so mad
Hammered to a cross and burned😂😂😂
Jesus was hammered to a cross😂😂😂😂😂
A fictional character who is the figure head of the Christian faith. One of 4,200 religions here on planet earth. There is absolutely no historical evidence at all that he ever existed. None. Jesus didn't die on a cross as it is physically impossible to nail a human to a crucifix and that human defeat gravity. Jesus was not born without his father impregnating his mother, that is completely impossible and goes against anything science and medicine tells the human race today. Jesus and his cultists do not believe in science or medicine. Logic and common sense are also viewed as an attack on "faith" which allows his followers, especially here in the States of America, to cry and bitch about ANYONE who disagrees with their infantile bullshit. Jesus was invented so that Christians could control other humans, especially women. This is also a common thread in almost all religions which not only degrade women, it allows wars to be fought in his name killing millions of non combatants and blaming other religions for being somehow wrong. Catholics use Jesus to rape and sexually assault under age boys by the tens of thousands while their supposed conduit to "heaven" turns a blind eye to the cancer. They would rather murder women for getting an abortion than stop all of the pedophiles infesting their church. Jesus is also a grift for churches here in the States of America.
Soldier 1: Oh man, that was a close one! That almost hit me!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
"Jesus" is a very common name for Hispanic population Jesus is one of the best friend you'll ever have loyal will always be there for you no matter in what place you in or anything. Will make you laugh and smile no matter. Loving and caring always puts others before him self. Loves one person and one person only even tho they fuck thing's up they'll always try there best to fix it and start all over again from the top. will always get what they want if they set there mind to it no matter what.
Hey Jesus how you doing
"Jesus" hey I'm alright how are you
Jesus a very trustworthy person and loyal human being even if they fuck anything up they'll always try there best to fix it and start all over again no matter how hard they try they'll always get what they set there mind to, will make everyone laugh and put a smile on anyone i little bit of a fruity Pebble and alright good person.
He's probably a bit fruity, will make anyone else laugh, probably Mexican,
And all Jesus have big noses