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John Mulaney Syndrome

A condition in which you seem to trigger everyone's gay detectors, but you are in fact straight. This leads to you being asked if you are gay constantly and often being an icon among the LGBT despite being entirely straight.

"I think I was supposed to be gay. I think, like, in Heaven they built, like, three quarters of a gay person and then they forgot to flip the final switch, and they just sent me out and it was like, 'You marked that one gay, right?'
And it was like, 'Oh no! Was I supposed to?'" - John Mulaney creating John Mulaney syndrome

by simplyhopeless October 10, 2020


St. John's College

A Liberal Arts college in the US, with two campuses: one in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and a needlessly preppy one, populated mostly by sophists. Famous for its approach to liberal arts, focus on great books, and its incredibly uncomfortable, but visually iconic, "Johnnie" chairs. Blackboards are everywhere at the college, and any attempt to change this policy is always crushed with extreme prejudice.

Students of the college are called Johnnies., and in place of professors, instructors are called tutors. This is because they are supposed to be on the journey of intellectual discovery with the students, rather than talking down to them. This is, most certainly, always the case, and tutors have never been known to give lectures in the middle of class to explain exactly why a particular school of thought is fundamentally incorrect because they entirely disregard the writings of one obscure thinker, the essays of whom said tutor will be happy to provide to the interested.

St. John's has no tests or exams. All students are evaluated through their writing and performance in discussion. To deal with the stress and anxiety which comes with much of the work of the college, many Johnnies smoke and engage in extreme forms of Bacchic revelry on a weekly to biweekly basis.

Contrary to popular belief regarding liberal arts degrees, Johnnies go into a variety of fields, mostly in education, academia, or corporate sophistry(commonly known to the uninitiated as the legal profession).

"Where are you going to college again?"
"Oh, I go to St. John's College in Santa Fe."
"Never heard of it."
"I'm not surprised."

Family member:"What do you guys even do at St. John's?"
Johnnie who has learned that most people are either totally disinterested in the truly meaningful parts of their studies and has lost all faith in the ability of most people to have serious conversations: "We read lots of books."

by notsocrates December 02, 2020


John Wick That Shit

To overcome an obstacle or task that has insurmountable odds.

Brian: My boss has asked me to complete my report by 5pm tomorrow and I haven't even started.
Meghan: I guess you'll just have to John Wick That Shit.

by bripgilb March 21, 2017


John F. Kennedy

The 35th and the greatest president ever. If that dickwad didn't shoot him, he would have probably made America 10 times better and made world peace. He was also the only president NOT to be full of shit. He probably stopped another world war by fixing the missile crisis. He was also a World War II Veteran. He saved the lives of himself and another soldier by swimming to an island with the backpack strap of another man clenched between his teeth.

John F. Kennedy is the best president ever.

by brucedamoose June 22, 2010


john cena meme

A meme that is all about John Cena, who is a WWE wrestler. The meme starts with something random then all of a sudden John Cena's name is yelled out and music starts playing.

(From SkyDoesMinecraft's Do Not Laugh)

Jin: Ok dirts guessing who it is... JOHN CENA!!! *Music plays*
Sky:Hahahahah!!!! WHY IS THAT A MEME, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT MEME!

Spongebob: We're not talking about this or this! We're talking about JOHN CENA! *Music plays*

Me: John Cena has made history with the meme.
Friend: What's the John Cena meme?
Me: Look at this *shows friend vine*
Friend: Man now that is amazing!

by VideogamemasterN October 09, 2015


John Wick

The strongest scariest character that you don't want to meet at all.

John Wick=death

by asiad June 06, 2018


John W Henry

John W Henry is the cheapskate owner of Liverpool Football Club and the Boston Red Sox. Instead of putting money into Liverpool’s team he’d rather buy himself his 50th yacht. Usually goes behind fans’ backs in search of more greed with the prime example being the European Super League, which he only backed out after being slaughtered by the fans, ex players and media.

He has divided the Liverpool fanbase to people who are FSGIN or FSGOUT. FSGIN these days consist of top red weirdos who would rather see the club fail to prove a point against people who are FSGOUT. They’re usually smelly middle aged men with no hair and no teeth, best to ignore them.

He upped ticket prices, furloughed lfc staff during the pandemic, has sold star players in the past and even tried to copyright the name Liverpool. The man has stayed here for too long and the club has outgrown him, he should sell up and stick to baseball and yachts.

LFC Fan 1: “Where’s the money John?”

LFC Fan 2: “He spent it on a new yacht.”

LFC fan 1: “Same old John W Henry, always out for greed.”

by TopRedsLoveFSG’sCum September 03, 2021