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An expression of deep anxiety and dissatisfaction with a situation.
Teacher: Oh, by the way, you failed my class. And you gotta go to summer school. Fuck*ng re*ard.
You: OOOHHH JESUS CHRIST WHYyyYhyy?!?
cocky boy: “ilysm”
nerdy girl: “BOOB”
cocky boy: “you suck you just scared the ba-jesus out of me”
The perfect synonym for Christianity
In a sentence:
man this makes me want to quit The Jesus fandom
Example:
Bob: hey thought you were going to church
Chad: nah i quit that fandom a long time ago
Someone who is very much under in influence/ very high
Our man really is Talkin to Jesus right now.
Jesus Lighting is the result of a camera focusing on you with light in the background resulting in the person in the photograph being surrounded by heavenly white
Person 1: “How was the visit at the park with your friend?”
Person 2: “Good; very sunny, I took a picture of my friend facing the sun and when I looked at the photo, I got him in Jesus Lighting”
Person 1: “lmao”
*may or may not be based on a true story*
Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
A person you loan money to and they promise to pay you back, but you haven't seen them yet.
I loaned some money to (Insert Name) and now he/she has become a Boomarang Jesus.