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Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.

Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.

by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022


boomarang jesus

A person you loan money to and they promise to pay you back, but you haven't seen them yet.

I loaned some money to (Insert Name) and now he/she has become a Boomarang Jesus.

by Dr. Pastor Charlie S. October 19, 2017


jesus nap

a Jesus nap is where you feel like you're gonna die from whatever you ate and you just have to sleep for the salvation of those around you.

After a nice brunch, complete with mimosas, I think it's time for a Jesus Nap.

by jpeg1024 April 6, 2015


Juiced Jesus

To be toned and muscular, while having long majestic hair and an almost Chuck Norris like beard. *Tattoos are not required, but recommended.*

Man, Opie from Sons of Anarchy really became a Juiced Jesus in season 4 of the show.

by Ulta-Thug MD. June 10, 2015


Six Flags Over Jesus

A really big church.

I go to church at Six Flags Over Jesus.

by itsrobloxhere March 17, 2024

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jesus muncher

Anybody who is part of a religion that has jesus as the son of god and is so devoted to where it sickens those around them

Bro im tring to hookup with that cute redhead

Dude dont bother she talks bout jesus and god too damn much she s a total jesus muncher

by MJP2100 December 27, 2013


Jesus Jammies

The underwear under the underwear that Mormon women wear

Don't get your Jesus Jammies in a bunch.

by Kass96 March 22, 2017