Have you ever run a friction crane?

When a guy wants to talk to a girl but he doesn’t know what to say to her he asks her if she has ever run a friction crane. Nobody really knows what a friction crane is but it is a way to start a conversation.

Guy: Have you ever run a friction crane?
Girl: Whats that?
Guy: I don’t know but I thought you were pretty and I wanted to talk to you.

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How many cigarettes have you got, lad?

How many cigarettes have you got, lad?

How many cigarettes have you got, lad?
*smashes head against a door*

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Have you been putting butter in my honey?

An accusation towards someone who is suspected of interfering in your business in a secretive or deceitful manner.

You think your friend might be seeing your girlfriend and say "Have you been putting butter in my honey?" OR: You suspect that someone has been talking about you behind your back. OR: You think someone used a dirty butter knife in your honey jar.

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You Should Have Killed Me When You Had The Chance

A song by A Day To Remember written about when you're playing Call Of Duty. An enemy is five feet behind you, and in attempt to kill you, they waste time fumbling to throw a grenade instead of shooting you. In the time it takes them to do that, you turn around kill them effortlessly.

Brett: Dumb ass computer. He was standing behind me and in the time it would have taken to shoot me, instead he pulled out a grenade.

Josh: What a retard.

Brett: Totally. I killed him while he was still taking it out. He could have just shot me on the spot and killed me! You Should Have Killed Me When You Had The Chance, CPU.

Josh: Yeah.

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Wait a minute, you people have lost your minds, my god

Now I realize most of those people out there are asleep and have a clouded vision. (delusional) So when I post this message it will just come out sounding incoherent and people will think I am just a troll.

I’m talking to the Jews of UD.

Wait a minute, you people have lost your minds, my god

So that explains why there are so many crazy people. Good gawd, where are these people coming from?

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You fool, I have 70 alternative accounts

When you're so lonely that you make friends to troll with you.

Shadow: Go ahead, I have 50 alternate accounts
Also Shadow: My fingers right on top of the delete button Eggman
Shadow: What are you going to do to stop me with your long toothpick legs.
Eggman: Hehehehehe haha
Eggman: You fool, I have 70 alternative accounts

have you heard what putin did yesterday?

a sentence used for the trolling

person1: hey, have you heard what putin did yesterday?
person2: I dunno, what did he do?
person1: PUTIN DEEZ NUTS ON YO MOUTH HAHAHAHAHAHAH

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