carpet cum

A term used to describe a type of sexual intercourse during which the male partner extracts his reproductive organ from the female reproductive organ before he is about to ejaculate, then proceeds to ejaculate and deposit his male gametes onto a carpet, after which he scoops the sperm back up with a spoon or ice cream scooper and places it back inside the vagina. Alternatively, a hand may be used to scoop up the sperm during the absence of an extraction tool. This method of mating is believed to have many benefits, including stronger sperm, better child health and above all, higher child intellect.

If a child is conceived using this technique that child is a carpet cum baby

Samantha was definitely a carpet cum baby!

carpet nasher

One who has committed the act of carpet nashing, i.e someone who enjoys oral sex with a female.

She didn't know if he was a carpet nasher, but came to realize he enjoyed it. Represented by the 😖 Emoji (yucky carpet nasher) or the 😛 happy, "my girlfriend just showered" carpet nasher

Banana Carpet

When a man has way too much pubic hair, to the point of absurdity.

Have you seen Raj's junk? He has a serious banana carpet going on.

Carpet Bomb

1. The act of accomplishing a task very thoroughly with an absolute disregard for the excessive waste of resources used in doing so that it may have been better just not to do it in the first place, but at least you win. This is typically done as an outright act of frustration and hubris. The sheer amount of over-zealous effort required to carpet bomb often makes the end result less than satisfactory.

or

2. Having very vigorous and powerful, Zeus-like sex with a woman for a very, very long period of time.

1. I was so fucking pissed after getting a "F" on that last test that I carpet bombed shit out of this one. Twenty hours of studying the book word for word and I got a "C".

2. Yeah bro, I carpet bombed the shit out of her all night.

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carpet bombing

In Duke Nukem Forever; the art of obtaining both a Jetpack and the Devastator weapon, then proceed to fly around and unleash a rain of rockets on everything that moves. Don't forget to refill.

carpet bombing, fuck yeah

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carpet muncher

The act of a lesbian performing oral sex on another female,

isabella

Joe: omg isabellas soo hot!
Dan: Dude, give up! She's a carpet muncher

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carpet bagger

1. Purveyor of goods which are not what they purport to be, north american post civil war.

2. Politician striving for popularity in a remote ward.

'gather round for I have a panacea for all ailments such as dropsy, feeble spirit and malingerance' The tale of the carpet bagger, Mark Twain 1875.

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