safety girl

A chosen female of dubious attractiveness within a social group whom is mentally designated as the ‘safety’ girl before a session of drinking begins. Where upon a level of inebriation is reached where the principal starts to fantasise about sleeping with the aforementioned safety girl, the principal knows that he has drunk too much and must immediately return home without question.

I don’t want to end up in the morning with a rotter again. This time I’m designating Jody my safety girl. The moment I start getting hot for ‘that’ I know I’m hammered and I’m going home.

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safety meeting

for people who work in bars, everyone sneaks to the side for as little time as possible to take a shot and then returns to work as if nothing happened.

Bartender: "Safety meeting!"
Everyone else: runs to the end of the bar, pounds a shot, returns to work.

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the safety dance

sex with a condom

i either do the safety dance or none at all

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safety harbor

a town where people ride stupid scooters everywhere bc they are too cool to walk or drive a car. oh and they dont wear helmets too. just give it up and move back to new jersey.

Me: So what are you doing in safety harbor today?
Whitney: Oiling up my scoot scoot and takin it for a ride! i hope i dont get a ticket today.

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safety harness

a belt or strap in an automobile, airplane, or other moving object, fastened around the midsection to keep the person safely secured, as during a sudden stop or massive wreck.

Miss KC Slinger hopped in her whip and made sure to buckle her safety harness before cruisin down 95, yes sir.

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safety nut

A fall back person at home to sleep with after an unsuccessful night on the prowl for sex.

I just struck out at the bar with that chick so I guess I will just go home to my safety nut.

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Safety Lesbian

A girl who acts like a lesbian until she finds a boyfriend. Not to be confused with actual lesbians, safety lesbians may:

A) use sexual preference as an excuse for a chronic lack of boyfriends,

B) attract guys with the promise of a threesome,

C) muff dive until 'the right guy' comes along.

Maria) "Stacey thinks we should threeway with Jake."
Maude) "Be careful, she might just be a safety lesbian."

Claire) "So you're a lesbian?"
Janet) "Yeah, until the right guy comes along."
Claire) "Pfft, safety lesbian..."

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