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Random
Watching or scrolling through your phone while dropping a load
I took the longest shit and read this morning . I now have a toilet seat imprent on my ass!
An incredibly obvious thing every person (man or woman) does when they see a girl with particularly prominent boobs. Staring incredibly intently like they're trying read a book without opening the cover.
These motherfuckin pervs are always nip reading, "my eyes are up here"
When someone "reads" a situation well.
Johnny I don't think it would be a good idea to throw a rock at that snake
Good read Jim
Very gay and gets hard near men
Brayden read likes guys and watching porn
When someone only read something halfway. It's especially annoying during texting, leading to much confusion and miscommunication. Those jaded by this resort to phone calls for all major planning. This may result in a conflict with introverts who hate phone calls, and usually will not answer the phone, preferring to respond with a text. Thus a viscous cycle is born.
Bro #1: "Bro, where are you at?"
Bro #2: "At home chillin. What's up?"
Bro #1: "You're supposed to be picking me up for the game!"
Bro #2: *rereads texts* Damn, my bad bruh. I only half read."
Having your personal business publicized; usually brings shame and embarrasment
Tiffany had her mail read in front of the entire office before she quit.
Don't make me read your mail in front of all these people!
An easy way on eBay to say that whatever item you're selling is absolute dogshit, or has some sort of overwhelmingly huge flaw that would render it useless. e.g. "iPhone XR good condition READ DESCRIPTION" and in description, "BAD ESN" (this means you can't activate it, it's probably stolen).
Or a good one, is when they are retail demos and have SCREEN BURN-IN. Who the fuck wants to look at a burnt-in image?
Stolen shit usually is "read description" since they probably ripped it out of someone's hand.
Often, the seller will say, "re4d", "l00k", or some other bullshit to prevent you from subtracting their trash listing from the results. Also, same applies for "icl0ud", "cr4cked", and other things like "acc0unt". Really disingenuous stuff. Report them whenever you see them.
"iPhone XS MAX GOOD CONDITION READ DESCRIPTION"
Description: "... BAD ESN iCLOUD LOCKED"