vark scale

scale on which "varks" are measured; goes from 1 to 10 with one being a momentary lapse of intelligence to ten having multiple blond moments in the same conversation; see also "vark"

"I can't believe that girl varked over and over again. That was definitely a ten on the vark scale"

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Trinary Scale

Evolving from the binary scale for rating females, the trinary scale attempts to incorporate the influence of alcohol on the binary scale. For example, instead of the usual 0 = won't bang and 1 = will bang, the trinary scale goes from 0 to 2, where 0 = never bang, 1 = will bang drunk, and 2 = will bang anytime

Jack: Dude, I saw this girl in class who was a legit 2 on the trinary scale
Sam: Whatever dude all you bang are 0's anyway

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purty scale

the scale by which the physical attributes of males and females are weighed, measured and often found wanting. the scale ranks thusly:

10 - Chuck Norris (who no one can ever hope to surpass)
>>>>
>>>
>>>>
(in betweeners like Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus both of whom were created in Disney Labs.)
>>>
>>>>
>>>
1 - Paris Hilton ( as low as it gets )

corey: "Wow! Nick Jonas is an 8.5 on the purty scale!"

danielle: "Nah if we're ranking on the purty scale I'd say he's more of an 8."

jenna: "Who's Nick Jonas?"

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The 0,1,2 Scale

A simple yet sophisticated scale for measuring the opposite sex. Designed and made popular by the BCE.

0: Used to describe someone who you would never have sex with.
1: Used to describe someone who you would have sex with but wouldn't tell anyone or someone you would have sex with while drunk.
2: You'd definitely give 'em the business.

-I'd never bang that chick.
-You're gay, based on The 0,1,2 Scale, she's at least a 1.

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Sexness Scale

On a scale from 1-10,1 being the worst, 10 being the highest. How hot and good someone is during sexual intercourse.

I've had that girl before,on the sexness scale,she's a 7.

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Scalely Delight

When having sex with a fish through it's gill slits

Jack's skinny dip turned for the better when he impaled a fish and began to recieve a scalely delight.

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doobie scale

1. The sizes of different doobies
(1. Asian Skinny)
(2. Turkish Thin)
(3. Frenchy Fagg)
(4. Albanian Chub)
(5. Chowder Chub)
(6. Swedish Shwamm Rapp)
(7. German Jaloppy)
(8. Polish Pot Sticker)
(9. Polish Dub)
(10. Polish Phatty)

John: Hey bro, what size is that on the doobie scale?

Jim: i think thats a German Jaloppy.

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