Uncle Colon

Uncle Colon is a man who has a detachable colon. Legend has it, that if you call his number (I don’t want to give it out for the safety of the reader), he will appear on your doorstep.

If you invite him in, you’re in for a treat. He will proceed to detach his colon, so that it is hanging freely out of his body. Then he’ll smother ketchup all over it. After that he’ll sprinkle some sesame seeds on it. Now, this is where the fun begins. He will force you to suck all of the ketchup and sesame seeds of his colon.

Once you have sucked it clean, he will wind it up and put his colon where it belongs. He will then pack up his ketcup and sesame seeds and leave. Not before thanking you for your service to him, of course. He keeps it very professional and he is always a polite guest. There are no official documentations of Uncle Colon, but I’m a believer.

Only one question remains: Are you a believer?

Person 1: Dang, I’m really craving some sesame seeds and ketchup right now.
Person 2: Dude, you should just call Uncle Colon and he’ll pay a visit. You needs will be more than fulfilled.

Pedo Uncle

When your uncle hands you a dildo and says to shove it up your grandma's ass

My Uncle did a Pedo Uncle at christmas

Funny Uncle

He's the uncle who constantly cracks jokes. While trying to lure nephews and neices into his van. For secret rides...

That uncle sure is funny. But he won't let go of my daughter. It seems kinda odd...

168👍 58👎

Uncle

That family member who farts because everyone else is farting.

Your being such an uncle right now

2👍 6👎

uncle gary

slang term for marijuana

"I was sitting at home, and wondered if someone was going to bring Uncle Gary by"

42👍 11👎

Uncle Leo

Law enforcement. From the common abbreviation "LE", and inspired by the name of the Seinfeld character.

"Watch your speed on Route 9, Uncle Leo is all over it tonight."

23👍 5👎

Uncle Murphy

A comic series created by Ifunny user Guwutine that seeks to build the story and lore of Uncle Murphy, a character featured in a few doge memes that circled the internet.

Man I can't wait for the finale finale of Uncle Murphy , it's such a cool comic

13👍 2👎