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Jesus Water Streak

The act of moving over the surface of a body of water naked.

Jen: Matt took me on the most fun date yesterday!
Jennifer: What did you guys to?
Jen: We Jesus Water Streaked down the river!
Jennifer: You did what?
Jen: We rode jet skis naked!

by MikeRoch April 13, 2017


Jacob Jesus

Someone who believes in himself and tries to evangelize others to Christianity.

He also has lushes locks and amazing Valorant skills and loves them potatoes.

Damn that Jacob Jesus rolled up in his Rolls Royce looking like a god. He is hella fine boi and loves drinking some good ol' Earl Grey.

by May 8, 2021


Coffee with Jesus

It’s an enema of cold coffee mixed with cocaine that is used before sex in the gay community.

Mike and Sam always have coffee with Jesus on Sunday.

by Mr El Conquistador May 20, 2022


jumping jack jesus

An attempt to jump SF to Alcatraz on a ramp built for Pastrana to do using only Element 115.

Bird_ This is the shit Lazar sent me.
Pastrana_ Good????..
Bird_ It's OK.

SNOOP DOG_ shit GaryMike...
li da jumping jack jesus
Pastrana_ What about GARYMIKE???
Craig_ yep. go get em Tiger.
Aaron. I love you Garymike.

by craigbird1968 January 28, 2021


Making Jesus cry

To masturbate
Comes from Christian parents telling their kids “Every time you masturbate, Jesus cries”
Jesus is interchangeable with Hod in this context

An example of “making Jesus cry
Friend 1:Did you get laid last night?
Friend 2: No, I was so horny I had to make Jesus cry
Friend 1: Gross, tmi

by Comic Sanders May 31, 2019


Bread Jesus

A man born from Glutensgard that gives bread to the peasents. He is very powerful, and is a CFT Legend. He is the founder of Yeastianity. h t t p s : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = 3 n u l w J n T A M Q.

Peasent: "Yooooooooo, it's Bread Jesus! Thank you Bread Jesus from the generous gift of the bread."
Bread Jesus: "np"

by GANDU by Bad Lee Rix January 2, 2023


St. Jesus Malverde

The patron saint of drug dealers.

'Dear St. Jesus Malverde, may my sneakers be tied tight and the pigs be fat and slow.

by ponderprotostar March 1, 2017