Random
Source Code

the holy jesus

for people into shit fetishes this ones for you after a long period of anal fucking a bird that had a bad case of the shits you stand and stretch like jesus on the cross then the girl still in the doggy position sprays you from head to foot in shit causing the holy jesus effect its a mix of holy shit and jesus

oh mighty god i pray to thee that you give this woman thy power to spray thee in feocal matter from thy head to thy foot therefore giving me thy power of the holy jesus

by anal*smear July 25, 2008


Jesus Juice

Midwest slang for orange juice containing the drug propylhexedrine aka Benzedrex. The drug can be bought over the counter in the form of a nasal inhaler normally used for allergies. If you break the inhaler and take out the cotton inside and soak it in orange juice or any acidic beverage for 24 hours the active ingredient (propyl) is extracted. Propyl has similar effects to amphetamine and methamphetamine and induces a state of intense focus and euphoria. It is also horrible for your vascular system and causes severe vasoconstriction.

In simple terms you will go sicko mode and probably will end up on meth if you weren’t already when you took the Jesus Juice. It’s called Jesus Juice because it makes you feel like Jesus and it will bring you back from the dead.

Me: Hey bro do you want some speed laced orange juice?

Homie: Oh, shit did you put your Vyvanse into OJ?

Me: Nah I ran out like a week ago, this is Jesus Juice! It feels just as good if not better. You can feel your brain cells dying so it must be good.

by danasp_42 December 27, 2019


boomarang jesus

A person you loan money to and they promise to pay you back, but you haven't seen them yet.

I loaned some money to (Insert Name) and now he/she has become a Boomarang Jesus.

by Dr. Pastor Charlie S. October 19, 2017


jesus nap

a Jesus nap is where you feel like you're gonna die from whatever you ate and you just have to sleep for the salvation of those around you.

After a nice brunch, complete with mimosas, I think it's time for a Jesus Nap.

by jpeg1024 April 6, 2015


Juiced Jesus

To be toned and muscular, while having long majestic hair and an almost Chuck Norris like beard. *Tattoos are not required, but recommended.*

Man, Opie from Sons of Anarchy really became a Juiced Jesus in season 4 of the show.

by Ulta-Thug MD. June 10, 2015


Russian Jesus

The man who walked on tanks

Turned water into Vodka

Gave children trench coats

His mom was a mob boss

His dad was a whore

Did you hear about Russian Jesus? He is GOD

by Mr. Jesus.com March 23, 2022


Jesus School

A school that prays a unessecary excessive amount of times a day. You spend so much money on school but it still manages to be broke

John asked his mom “ My school needs $50 from each student” mom then replies “why?” And John quickly says “wth mom it’s going broke”. Mom says “ oop that sounds like Jesus School “

by Urtletheturtle August 4, 2018