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Random
a puerto rican girl who’s often quiet but secretly super cool. everyone wants to be her friend but u need to get into her bubble first. she’s a bit of a tiny person so be careful not to lose her at parties. if you do accidentally lose her, set out a bowl of rice and beans and she will show up. she’s a cutie with a magnetic vibe. keep her close.
oh damn is that “ andrea del mar de jesus romero” pls take a pic of me next to her, i want people to think i’m cool
The man who walked on tanks
Turned water into Vodka
Gave children trench coats
His mom was a mob boss
His dad was a whore
Did you hear about Russian Jesus? He is GOD
Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"
A school that prays a unessecary excessive amount of times a day. You spend so much money on school but it still manages to be broke
John asked his mom “ My school needs $50 from each student” mom then replies “why?” And John quickly says “wth mom it’s going broke”. Mom says “ oop that sounds like Jesus School “
The underwear under the underwear that Mormon women wear
Don't get your Jesus Jammies in a bunch.
Jesus is a mexican guy who almost got banned from the tomia.ly server and he also got a samsung note 8 that has a verizon rom which gives him nightmares, also Jesus Wants to Sue Verizon
He is also very gay
Jesus (the guy with the note8) hates verizon because his phone is locked
for people into shit fetishes this ones for you after a long period of anal fucking a bird that had a bad case of the shits you stand and stretch like jesus on the cross then the girl still in the doggy position sprays you from head to foot in shit causing the holy jesus effect its a mix of holy shit and jesus
oh mighty god i pray to thee that you give this woman thy power to spray thee in feocal matter from thy head to thy foot therefore giving me thy power of the holy jesus