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ba-jesus

the living shit

cocky boy: “ilysm
nerdy girl: “BOOB
cocky boy: “you suck you just scared the ba-jesus out of me”

by ballslicker9000but69 November 22, 2021


The Jesus Fandom

The perfect synonym for Christianity

In a sentence:

man this makes me want to quit The Jesus fandom

Example:

Bob: hey thought you were going to church

Chad: nah i quit that fandom a long time ago

by Echophobia April 27, 2022


talkin to jesus

Someone who is very much under in influence/ very high

Our man really is Talkin to Jesus right now.

by DevilhunterBFMV July 14, 2023


Jesus Lighting

Jesus Lighting is the result of a camera focusing on you with light in the background resulting in the person in the photograph being surrounded by heavenly white

Person 1: “How was the visit at the park with your friend?”

Person 2: “Good; very sunny, I took a picture of my friend facing the sun and when I looked at the photo, I got him in Jesus Lighting”

Person 1: “lmao”

*may or may not be based on a true story*

by roach.baddie September 15, 2023


Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.

Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.

by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022


PopTart Jesus

He has a BIG dick that if enters you your legs will become useless.

PopTart Jesus has a very BIG dick.

by oashiojdiojsdf July 18, 2019


jesus melnchor

A stupid dick sucker.bit loves a girl named a familia most of the time.and has a lot of friend,he is very kind,and is cute/fine

Jesus melnchor can suck your dick you.
K I'll ask him

by It yo girl... December 31, 2018