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The act of copulating ones self with a hand that has fallen asleep from lack of circulation
Yo man I woke up with a numb hand today so I gave myself a dead mans handjob.
I am the one who invented this phrase. It is where you squeeze the dick up and down, over and over.
See when a man has a discusting/unsercumsized dick, you dont really want to touch it.
You try to go up and down but the skin follows your hand.
So you squeeze the sucker.
Corii was hooking up with a hott man. Little did she know that he had a fucked up dick. The weird handjob was invented
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a jerkity jerk with a hot, buttered tortilla
The tortilla lady at CHuys looks like she gives a mean, "Hot Tortilla Handjob"
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The act of somone recieving a handjob from a third party but the third party is using a hot pocket
Sarah gave me the best Hot pocket handjob of my life man, she even ate the hot pocket
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Kevin hails from Wales, and he is an expert at giving Welsh handjobs.
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When one recieves a sexual act of the hand job while wearing pants!
Thad: Yo Fred i just got a yogapants handjob from my girl
Fred: Damn, she got a nice ass too
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Also known as Quantum Handjob Theory, Quantum Handjob Mechanics is a branch of physics providing a mathematical description of the dual particle-like and wave-like behavior and interaction of the hand and penis.
Quantum Handjob Mechanics describes the time evolution of physical systems via a mathematical structure called the Cum Function. The Cum Function encapsulates the probability that an orgasm is to be reached in a given state at a given time.
Quantum Handjob Mechanics is closely intertwined with the Hymenberg Uncertainty Principle, which relates the fundamental principle that it is impossible to simultaneously measure the present proximity to an orgasm while "determining" the future momentum of a subsequent orgasm with an arbitrary degree of accuracy and certainty.
"Dude, I'm failing Naughty Physics."
"Why?"
"I just can't figure out these equations for Quantum Handjob Mechanics. I'm going to fail that test on three dimensional cum functions..."
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