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If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."
when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!
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The worst fucking thing ever invented by technology and makes you question if Satan has found a way to torture us on Earth. It`s damn near impossible to get them correct, and it ruins fucking everything. Even here on Urban Dictionary I had to fucking click that i`m not a robot to a god damn robot. I give a big fat fuck you to whoever the hell made this online torture device. 🖕🖕🖕🖕
Human Verification wants to make me fucking die.
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The "tag" given to a steroid abuser who frequents the gym only to work out on the whole of the upper body and neglect any leg exercises what so ever, forming the shape of an up side down triangle i.e. A Human Triangle.
Henry; Hey Dan! how do ya like my chest and biceps!?
Dan; Yes very manly, but I can't help but notice that your legs look like two pieces shit dangling out of a fishes ass hole.
Henry; Oh don't be so mean :(
Dan; Human Triangle.
When youre fucking from behind and u shove a butt plug in her ass with a tail connected to the butt plug and rip it out so fast yelling "let it rip" and then proceed to watch her shit fly in circles
I tried to human bayblade my friends mom and i watched her shit go everywhere
The act of forcing a person to drink 1 gal. of flammable liquid, shoving any flammable fabric down their esophagus leaving some hanging from the mouth, and setting the fabric ablaze.
"I was curious to try the human molotov on my alcoholic father since he recently came back from the bar."
A guy or girl who is obsessed with you and won't leave you alone even after you've rejected them multiple times. In public, they stand uncomfortably close to you and attempt to engage you in conversation making you feel like you're being surrounded by an annoying fly that won't go away. Dropping hints such as scooting away or excusing yourself do not work. They only make the human fly work ten times harder.
Jack wouldn't stop pestering Tina at the party. He kept hovering around her like a human fly.
Me
I am human trash, I suck and am a terrible human being.
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