faking the snake

to add in a small specific detail in order to make your lie seem more convincing

Jim: "So he broke into her apartment, jumped her, tied her up, and kidnapped her. Oh, he also stole a pet snake."
Tim: "Hm, this story must be completely credible because a random, unnecessary detail was added in. Wait a second... he must've been faking the snake!"

80👍 4👎

trouser snake

An elusive animal that comes in many shapes and sizes. The rare hooded trouser snake is more aware of its environment, but this snake likes to collect cheesy matter and keep it in its hood. Each snake carries a venom sack that produces a white venom when it reaches maturity. The snake's one eye also functions as its mouth and waste removal system. The snake does not like cold weather and will shrink in cold conditions. It thrives in warm conditions, such as the many burrows it spits into in order to mark its territory. When touched, the snake will swell up to twice its original size in order to frighten off predators.

Crikey! That trouser snake just attacked that hooker! It spit its venom all over her face. That has to be one of the most dangerous snakes in the world!

2386👍 232👎

Handshakes with Snakes

Handshakes with Snakes

Verb: (ˈhan(d)ˌSHāk/,wiTH/snāk-S/) Orig: Victorian England c. 1535(AD)

Slang verbiage, historically meaning "clandestine hand-jobs with strangers".

Modernly, it is used in conjunction with, or to replace the verb "fap" or "fapping" in groups(strangers or otherwise).

#fap #fapping #dickjokes #selfiecentered

#buffalobill
#snakecharmer
#mongooseit
#shakethesnake #righthandonly

#mansworld
#feelthefap
#handshakeswithsnakes
#micdrop
#outsnakeyou
#secretsnake
#hideAsnake
selfie centered
handshakes with snakes
#hsws
#handshakeswithfakes
#nlfakes
#hipsterflakes
#crunchyswing
#judgingyou

Secretly, Chris likes handshakes with snakes because it's a nice way to bond with his friends, who enjoy secret handjobs.

#fap #fapping #dickjokes #selfiecentered

#buffalobill
#snakecharmer
#mongooseit
#shakethesnake #righthandonly

#mansworld
#feelthefap
#handshakeswithsnakes
#micdrop
#outsnakeyou
#secretsnake
#hideAsnake
selfie centered
handshakes with snakes
#hsws
#handshakeswithfakes
#nlfakes
#hipsterflakes
#crunchyswing
#judgingyou

Tunnel Snakes

The Tunnel Snakes were a small gang that ruled Vault 101 in the video game Fallout 3

"Tunnel Snakes rule!"

75👍 4👎

Beck-snake

A hybrid between Glenn Beck and a snake, typically 'Kaa' of the Jungle Book.

Marle showed Bob the Beck-snake; and he was never seen again...

34👍 2👎

snake cup

a cavernous region on the female body commonly inhabited by the one-eyed-trouser-snake.

crikey, look at that trollop over there, I'd like to park my salami in her snake cup

76👍 4👎

bowl snake

A long, continuous turd that coils at least 360 degrees around the toilet bowl like a rattlesnake poised to strike.

Extra credit given if the deposit is more than one full circumference in length, if one end actually breaks the surface of the water, and/or if the opposite end is "pebbled" to resemble rattles.

No accompanying floaters or segmentation must be present.

Takes at least two flushes to fully rid the bowl of its vile magnificence. A plumber's absolute nightmare.

You: Dude! That is one gargantuan bowl snake you left . . . didn't your parents ever teach you to flush?

Roommate: I did flush! Twice! That is one tenacious bowl snake!

You (handing Roommate the plunger): You know what to do.

Roommate (handing You the brush): Cover me! I'm going in!