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The hottest thing to ever exist
Mr Murray: The Amelio spider just took my girl.
Josh: that sucks he took mine yesterday.
Mr Murray: I’m going to kill that spider!
You and the lads each buy individual electric fly swatters, sit in chairs, then place the electric fly swatters over your genitals. One of you then puts pornography on a phone or larger screen for all to view. The goal is to not get an erection, to therefore not get an electrocuted penis.
"Hey man wanna do a spider's web?"
"Fuck no, dude it felt like I burnt my dick off last time."
A mutated strain of Influenza, having symptoms of both the common Flu and those of severe spider bites. Essentially, it's a really bad flu (fever, vomiting, nausea, congestion), along with shortness of breath and swelling, discoloration, and rashes on the skin.
I tried to get to the gym last night, but was diagnosed with a sever case of the spider flu and couldn't move.
A sharting spider is a particularly heinous sub-specie of the "Barking Spider" in that it's defense method is not just a warning signal and fowl smell, but also warns potential predators with a deposit of substance known by naturalists as 'beware brown'. They are particularly fond of burrowing in 'tighty whiteys'.
subject 1: (Notices subject 2's dirty underwear on the floor) "Woah! Either you never learned to wipe your ass or you were born without a sphincter!"
Subject 2: "What?....No...I'm dealing with an infestation of Sharting Spiders. That wasn't me!"
The stinky spider is a sexual act performed on male genitalia. The stinky spider is performed by placing both thumbs in the rectum of the male while dancing your eight other fingers on the scrotum.
Bonus nachos if you get him to shoot his web.
John could never finish unless he was wearing his Spider-Man mask and receiving an aggressive the stinky spider.
Before an intimate night with her man, a woman hides a bottle of hot sauce next to the bed. Post fellatio, the woman adds some of the hot sauce to her mouthful of man juice, thus creating a venomous con"cock"tion. The woman then bites the "victim" like unto a spider (i.e. a brown recluse or camel (toe) spider or even banana spider) injecting the poison into the man who is still in a post cum delirium. To add insult to injury, she can also spit in his grill piece.
Nate: Dude, I know why they call Jen the black widow!
Mikel: Oh really, why?
Nate: Yeah! Last night she gave me a spicy spider!
Mikel: Totally tubular bro.!
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vericos veins in your ball sack
Chris you should let a doctor look at your spider balls
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