The man who walked on tanks
Turned water into Vodka
Gave children trench coats
His mom was a mob boss
His dad was a whore
Did you hear about Russian Jesus? He is GOD
Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"
A school that prays a unessecary excessive amount of times a day. You spend so much money on school but it still manages to be broke
John asked his mom “ My school needs $50 from each student” mom then replies “why?” And John quickly says “wth mom it’s going broke”. Mom says “ oop that sounds like Jesus School “
Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"
A really big church.
I go to church at Six Flags Over Jesus.
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Anybody who is part of a religion that has jesus as the son of god and is so devoted to where it sickens those around them
Bro im tring to hookup with that cute redhead
Dude dont bother she talks bout jesus and god too damn much she s a total jesus muncher
The underwear under the underwear that Mormon women wear
Don't get your Jesus Jammies in a bunch.