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Random
Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"
A school that prays a unessecary excessive amount of times a day. You spend so much money on school but it still manages to be broke
John asked his mom “ My school needs $50 from each student” mom then replies “why?” And John quickly says “wth mom it’s going broke”. Mom says “ oop that sounds like Jesus School “
Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"
An expression of deep anxiety and dissatisfaction with a situation.
Teacher: Oh, by the way, you failed my class. And you gotta go to summer school. Fuck*ng re*ard.
You: OOOHHH JESUS CHRIST WHYyyYhyy?!?
cocky boy: “ilysm”
nerdy girl: “BOOB”
cocky boy: “you suck you just scared the ba-jesus out of me”
The perfect synonym for Christianity
In a sentence:
man this makes me want to quit The Jesus fandom
Example:
Bob: hey thought you were going to church
Chad: nah i quit that fandom a long time ago
Someone who is very much under in influence/ very high
Our man really is Talkin to Jesus right now.