i think i just shit myself hard

when you absolutely blow your pants up

guy 1: yo! i just made that shot from 50 feet away!!

guy 2: i think i just shit myself hard

4👍 1👎

i don't understand but i luv you

when someone who speaks another language and you don't understand | a song by seventeen

person A : yo bro ! ko pukima by the way !!
person B : i don't understand but i luv you

I don't chase em, I replace em

When looking for roommates, if one says no, just go on to the next one

Person 1: closed on the roommate?
Person 2: he has a lease through the end of august
Person 1: On to the next one
Person 2: I don't chase em, I replace em

I&I

: 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘐𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢 ,𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴.

I&I - family, friends etc.

if I was any better I would be left handed and fishing

Just another day in paradise

”How are you doing?“
If I was any better I would be left handed and fishing

E-I-E-I-O

When you try to play a banjo for a 5-year-old farm boy and teach him his animals while keeping things interesting.

Old McDonald had a cow! E-I-E-I-O! And on his farm he had a cow, E-I-E-I-O!

S m d t i c i y m

Suck my dick till I cum in your mouth

Girl: You look cute
Guy: S m d t i c i y m