let me tell you something

When you feel the need to make someone feel dumb by demonstrating your knowledge over a wide variety of subjects, this phrase is useful.

Me: That's not true
Moron: Yes it is.
Me: Let me tell you something... (infinite pause)
Moron: ... ?

53👍 6👎

I can tell you are doing it

I don't know what you are doing, but I can tell you are doing it wrong.

This is a humorous way to point out bad problem solving methods.

I don't know what you are doing, but I can tell you are doing it wrong!

22👍 2👎

I'll tell you that shit for free

when something is so obvious to one person that he will not even charge, for it being to sed to a companion friend or aquaintace.

tom: what do you think of tim's mam?
muthar: she's a propa slag, i'll tell you that shit for free!
tom: thanks muthar you're so genorous!

20👍 2👎

I have to tell u something

1.When ur crush texts you and then u get that felling in your stomach

2.when ur boyfriend texts u and says that u just shit your self since ur so scared he will break up with u

1
Crush:Hey I have to tell u something .
Me:ok what’s up .
Me inside:holy shit is this really happening .
2
Boyfriend:hey I have to tell you something

Me:oh ok what’s up

Me inside :shit is this really fucking happening

let me tell you something

A typical black elder's preamble serving as a gesture of dominance and/or wisdom...

Young Tyrone: I ain't tall enough to be good at basketball.....
Black Elder: Let me tell you something...

don't tell my dad

commonly used by compulsive liars when lying about pointless shit.

joey: ohhh ya i got a new mustang, but don't tell my dad

2👍 4👎

A Gentleman Doesn't Kiss And Tell

An expression used by a self-conscious dude who wants his friends to think he got laid. Generally used right after a date or when asked if said guy has ever rolled in the hay.

Jimmy: "Hey man did you f*ck her last night?"
Carl: "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell"
Jimmy: "P*ssy"

17👍 69👎