Gutter Condom

noun: object used when a regular condom is insufficient for the circumstance; a plastic baggie and a rubberband in additional to traditional measures to fully protect your shit

Jodge: Dude, check out that Gutter Hag

Bart: Whoah, shes vomitting! Better use a gutter condom on that slag.

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no-condom rule

When you are fingering a girl and your hand comes back very wet without you having done almost nothing, you are allowed to have sex without a condom.

Damn bitch, you wet as fuck. The no-condom rule is officially in effect.

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condom stuffers

Generally undesired items purchased along with condoms, in order to make the purchaser feel less self conscious about purchasing condoms.

I felt embarrassed when I bought those condoms, so I grabbed some condom stuffers to fill the basket. It wasn't until after I left the store that I realized I had grabbed a Harry Potter book and a bottle of hand lotion.

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bacon condom

The bacon condom; the act of thrusting one's erect penis into a woman's anus/vaginal opening and then inserting a hand in the opposite hole. This is followed by masturbation, all the while beimg within her body. Upon ejaculation, seman leaks slowly out of the respective hole, like fat when cooking bacon. Thus is formed, the bacon condom.

Keir: holy shit dude, check out that ass to leg ratio on that female!
Karl: yeah man, I think I'll have to try out the bacon condom on her!

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Nature’s condom

When u take the banana out of its peel and replace it with ur penis. Thus u have ur dick in a banana peel.

Like ma homemade fleshlight

Oh u mean nature’s condom

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Split Condom

Your worst living nightmare no matter who you are...

Man: Aww Damn yeah bitch wait im gonna cum!!

*Split Condom*

Man: Aww shit man not again.
Woman: ohh what was that?

Man: ... You might wanna get a pregnancy test.. and maybe a chlamydia test aswell while your at it....
Woman: Your fucking kidding me right?

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Condom sack

Used as an insult for when someone is being more then a douche. Condoms have cum inside them after being used, thus making it more disgusting and just gross. A large sack of them is a lot worse then a douche.

You're such a condom sack man! Just go and punch him in the face!

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